165 A change for the better
Ravina couldn’t help the pain in her stomach that refused to go away. Since the incident now she was filled with dread. It felt as if something bad would happen again and she didn’t know if she would make it through sane next time.
She ran the comb through her hair, and then looked outside the window. It was almost lunchtime and Malachi didn’t return. She just wanted a moment of peace after everything that happened. Was it too much to ask?
Feeling like she couldn’t stay calm, she went to her desk to scribble down her emotions since it seemed to help. When she opened the drawers she saw her old messy notes. She decided to throw them away before anyone read the madness going on with them.
As she went through them, a pair of familiar eyes caught hers.
Ares.
Her hold on the paper tightened. How was he doing? Was he alive? Now that she wasn’t blinded by so many things she looked at his eyes differently. She thought about him differently even though she didn’t think badly about him before.
He had been the first person outside what she called family who had cared for her. Who had shown her that she was capable of feeling more. Who had approached her with adjustment to who she was. She had chosen him for his cold and cunning nature but he had turned out to be warmer than she expected.
She touched his eyebrows saddened by how they parted. She had not been the only one making a sacrifice for her people. He had done the same. She wished she could at least meet him once more when she was in a better condition, and tell him that she was alright.
Ravina folded the paper gently twice and then she ripped it. She only had a few people in her life that she cherished and they would always be special to her whether dead or alive.
She threw his eyes together with her notes into the fire and watched them burn. He is alive, she thought strangely as she watched the flames.
Being on guard, she looked outside again, keeping track of the time. Malachi was still not back. She could not just sit. If she wanted this clan to succeed and be safe, she would have to make weapons.
She went back to her desk and began to sketch. It also helped her anxiety when she felt like she was in control and contributed to something. She would show these to Malachi later.
Would he accept?
She paused remembering the strange sensation this morning as he held her. Her hand went to her neck where he had kissed her. Something happened to her since the incident. Or maybe right before, when he kissed her?
No. It was even before that. When he showed his more vulnerable side. She recalled his eyes that night when he confessed and his expression the next morning. She remembered the way he desperately held her wrist the entire night when he was injured so she wouldn’t leave. She remembered his eyes as he spoke about trees and the gentle sad smile on his face. He hid those expressions often.
She wasn’t surprised. She knew men learned to keep their emotions hidden but she was happy he showed her. He had also changed before the incident and although this new situation was still unfamiliar, she liked it. It felt like a heavy burden was lifted off her shoulders even if she was still worried about other things.
Could she rejoice that her hands looked more healed than ever even if the price was a raw back? She smiled to herself. Maybe not really. The clothes here didn’t really allow her to cover them and back home, corsets would have been hell to wear with the scars so either way, it was bad but at least no one was dead.
Her soul almost jumped out of her body when something touched her shoulder. Malachi looked at her with a frown. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.
“You are late!” She scolded.
“I am sorry,” he said, his gaze shifting to look at the sketches. She became nervous about his reaction as he picked one of the papers to look at it. “What is this?”
She put her nerves aside. “Weapons,” she replied.
He shifted his gaze back to her without turning his head. He said nothing as if waiting for her to say more.
“I think with all the dangers around, it will be an advantage if we have weapons,” she explained. “I am a danger being here so I want to provide you with some sort of safety any way I can.”
His lips pressed into a thin line. “It is not your responsibility. We are unsafe because we are power greedy and… because of our own actions.” He put the sketch back gently before looking at her with firm eyes. “You are here because your people are in constant danger and you want to do what you can to protect them. Political alliance through marriage kind of thing.”
She blinked. “I… that…” she wasn’t even sure about that anymore.
Political alliance? Yes, she would do it for her people but was that what it still was between them?
“I am not blaming you. You are doing the right thing for your people so you are not bringing danger here to us and putting yourself in danger because you enjoy it,” he said.
She let out a deep breath as more weight was lifted off her shoulders. She had been made to feel like she didn’t make a sacrifice or take a risk coming here.
She stood up, “I care about my people but I have got to know many good people here too that I care about.”
He nodded with a smile, “I know. I am sure you take better care of them than I will. After all, you took care of me so even if I am shot, I can depend on your skills.”
She frowned. “Don’t!”
“Why not? You do a lot of touching when you are the physician,” he smirked.
She shook her head at him and then smiled embarrassedly when she recalled grabbing his groin. Oh, God!
“Don’t be foolish.”
“Are you saying I don’t have to be shot to be touched then?”
She blinked. The man knew how to twist her words.
“No. That is not what I said.”
“Then I guess the only option is to be shot.”
“I can shoot you if you allow me to make the weapons,” she raised a brow knowingly. “And then I will give you the touching you want.”
He chuckled amused and then drew her into his arms without warning.
“You would rather I touch you?” He said.
She looked at him surprised.
“You said you don’t like to be touched but you are even more uncomfortable to touch.”
How did he know?
“I understand.” He smiled gently. “Then I will just have to tempt you more.” His smile turned into a teasing smirk.
Unbelievable.
Was he joking? He could not look more tempting.