Chapter 100 - Hate That I Love Him
Chapter 100 – Hate That I Love Him
Two days had gone by in a blur. Hugo kept his promise as he stayed with me for the past two days. He moved his work into my room, where I could see him work diligently. I thought Hugo wasn't that busy, but watching him for the past two days came clear he was truly an important person.
Although he said so himself that Ivo mostly does the mountain of paperwork, and Ivo seemed he was the one taking care of the governing issues in Belcoot, Hugo was still the one who would decide Ivo's course of action. The past two days made me see a new side of Hugo and his diligence in fulfilling his duties — except the constant profanities I would hear here and there.
"So, you are really going to Belcoot?" I snapped my eyes and gazed at Alice from across from me. We were currently in the main garden in the inner palace, enjoying some tea in the mini pavilion.
"Yes." I smiled while she frowned slightly. "Thank you for coming today, Alice."
"Don't mention it. Hugo wouldn't let us all see you for the past two days when it's his fault that you were bedridden." Alice cupped her jaw and sighed, staring at me with gentle eyes. "Well, I guess we're also at fault since we dragged you around in the capital when you should be resting and adjusting."
I shook my head. "I enjoyed our stroll in the capital. It's not my first time to stroll outside, but it feels different to have ladies I like."
"Oh, Rinnie… how are you so sweet?" I chuckled at her remarks while she stared at me with the same smile. "I feel a bit sad thinking I wouldn't see you for quite some time."
I pressed my lips until its corners hooked up. They were truly kind people — not perfect and flawed, but they were the types of people who were aware of that. That was why… I liked them, regardless if they sometimes speak ridiculous suggestions.
"Alice," I called, seeing her raise both her brows. "Can I ask you something… personal?"
"Well, of course, yes. Just ask and I will answer whatever it is."
I bit my lips and hesitated for a second. "You said before meeting your mate, you had a lover, right?" her expression slightly changed, as if she didn't expect that type of question.
"I am curious. I think Alice is a very kind person who wouldn't hurt others for no reason. So… I was curious if you just left your lover just like that."
"Hah…" Alice let out a weak chuckle as her eyes lowered. "I am visibly surprised that is your question."
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," I replied, but she shook her head, raising her gorgeous eyes to me.
Alice smiled subtly. "You think so highly of me, Rinnie. I somehow understood why Hugo was drawn to you because your aura is magnetizing." I blushed because Alice was getting more stunning the longer I looked at her. If I didn't know better, I would think she was seducing me with that smile.
"Actually, there is more to that story. It is true that I was drawn to my husband the first time I laid my eyes on him, and he was also drawn to me. It's like magic — that's true. But…" Alice paused and in that split second, I saw bitterness flicker across her eyes. "… I was aware someone already holds my heart. I was hundred percent certain I was in love with Jarom until I met Han. So the attraction I felt towards Han felt like… sins. The more I denied it, the stronger it gets."
I listened to the details of Alice's story with my complete attention. This story was already in the past, but it seemed it still affected Alice. I didn't know if it was correct to ask her this, but I already did.
"As you already know, having a mate and meeting them is very important to us werewolves. They were our other half, the one the moon goddess sent to us. Someone who was born solely for that mate. But it's not all about love, Rinnie. Although we cherished our mates, having a mate is also linked to our destinies, purpose, and our real power."
"Real power?"
"Mhm. Werewolves are naturally strong but with a mate, we can achieve more heights and reach the maximum potential of our strength and weaknesses."
"It sounds more complicated now."
Alice chuckled at my remarks, nodding slightly. "To put it simply, wolves were like a half-moon. We were only complete with our other halves."
"Oh…" I nodded once again as I got the gist of the importance of having mates. "What will happen if you reject your mate?"
"Good question." She mused while staring at me in delight. "Gosh… you're so cute, Rinnie. I feel happy just by looking at you."
"Did you ask what will happen if someone rejected their mates?" she repeated, and I nodded. "Well… from my experience, you'll be in pain. It kills you."
"From your experience?" she nodded when I pointed out.
"As I've said, I was aware I was in love with Jarom. So, I tried to reject my attraction towards Han, my husband. But in the end, I was the one who suffered. I longed for Han the more I tried to erase him in my mind, and I detested myself for having these foreign emotions I never felt aside from Jarom." Alice's smile remained, but her eyes gave a more melancholic look. "My constant rejection of my instinct nearly cost me my life, Rinnie. I was only saved when Jarom ended things with me and told me to marry Han. I should be happy, right? But that was the saddest day of my life."
I frowned as I could feel the angst in her voice. Alice was the big sister everyone loved, but I never thought she was hiding this sadness until now.
"Alice… do you love Han?" I asked weakly because only now did I see Alice. Now I was certain that it wasn't just my imagination. Alice still had lingering feelings for Jarom, even though she was already married to her destined mate.
"Love?" Alice chuckled as her eyelashes fluttered ever so tenderly. "Of course, Rinnie. He is my husband, but… I also hate that I love him. He too loves me and will sacrifice a limb for me, but I'm certain he hates he has these feelings for me as well."
Hatred. It was brief, but I felt her hatred that was deep in the bones. I guess I didn't know Alice as well, or I misunderstood that all werewolves just succumbed to their instincts. They just didn't have a choice. And that terrified me in a way.
"Don't worry, Rinnie. Just trust Hugo. Even the red strings of fate will not bind that man," she reassured with a kind smile. "I truly root for the both of you, really."
I forced a smile while clasping my skirt. "Thank you, Alice.." — and I was sorry for opening an old wound in your heart.