Chapter 341: Broken Resolve (Part 2)
Chapter 341: Broken Resolve (Part 2)
Slowly and painfully, Bill’s eyes finally opened to observe the different surroundings he was now in. He could vividly remember everything that has happened before his collapse was
actually a bit disappointed.
Feeling his entire body being wrapped up in bandages and him not being able to feel a thing, he knew that he had failed.
‘Why did she have to be so stubborn? I was the reason her best friend got killed… and yet…,’ tears immediately pooled inside his eyes as this was the first thought that came to his mind.
‘Just let me die and be with her, I’m better of there than being here anyways…’ Bill said as he stared at the ceiling of the room; not even being able to turn his head.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” A angry and familiar voice broke Bill out of his bubble of sorry thoughts.
His eyes drifted to the left to see Mako standing by his side with Erin still recovering from her injury on a stretcher next to him.
Even though Bill couldn’t feel or move any part of his body, he could still feel his mouth and tongue and knew that he was still able to speak; however, as he stared into Mako’s rageful and worrying eyes, no words could be uttered out of his mouth.
The two exchanged stares at each other for several moments with Bill not uttering a single word out of embarrassment and humiliation.
“Tell me it isn’t true…” Mako asked Bill with an assertive and demanding tone.
However, Bill just continued to stare, this time showing a hint of confusion on his face with his eyebrows contracting inwards as he had no idea what Mako was talking about.
“Don’t just stare at me, dammit! Tell me that it isn’t true… that you didn’t fight back the mutant gene at all, that you actually wanted to die by the hands of your own power!” Mako shouted with anger and frustration.
Bill finally understood what Mako was referring to and his confusion quickly shifted to shock with his eyebrows contracting outwards and his eyes widening as he didn’t know how Mako was able to figure it out when he wasn’t even in the training room.
He knew that he couldn’t remain silent after he had shown Mako his sudden change in emotion and seeing how angry Mako was behaving, he knew he had to face him and give him a reply.
He slowly opened his mouth and with a weak quivering voice, finally gave Mako a reply, “Its… true…”
The look of disappointment on Mako’s face was instant and made Bill’s heart shudder with fear and embarrassment. He couldn’t even look back into Mako’s eyes as all he could do was close his eyes again let out his silent tears.
“Why…” Mako followed up with the obvious second question.
Tears now freely overflowed down Bill’s face but the suppressing agent was still inside his body so for the very first time he was able to let out all of his emotions without the fear of the mutant gene ticking bomb inside of him.
“I am the reason, she’s dead! It’s all my fault! She gave me half of her soul in order to save me and that’s why she died! If she had her complete soul, the gas wouldn’t have been enough to kill her… It’s all my fault!” Bill shouted as all those pent up emotions inside him were finally able to release in a natural way.
Bill continued to cry with his eyes closed and continued to repeat the same words again and again that it was all his fault, she didn’t deserve to die, and that it should have been him instead of her.
*SLAP!*
The sound of a tight slap echoed inside the recovery room.
Bill’s eyes shot open in shock and pain as Mako’s hand made contact with his face. The slap wasn’t just physically jarring but emotionally too, as it pulled Bill out of his spiral of self- loathing. The sting on his cheek was nothing compared to the turmoil inside him, but it did manage to break through his haze.
“Mako…” Bill’s voice trembled, barely more than a whisper as he looked back towards Mako. Mako’s face was as red as a tomato with several veins popping all over his face and arms. However, it wasn’t all out of anger as his eyes showcased his true emotions with streams of tears flowing down his face as well.
The equipment hooked up to Bill began to blink and beep as it measured a change in Bill’s heart rate and muscle structure, giving a warning as Bill’s condition was still too fragile to handle any kind of sudden movement or physical damage.
Erin was shocked to see Mako pull of such a stunt and she quickly jumped out of her bed to stop Mako from doing something bad, but the air around the two friends felt like a completely different dimension.
Both of them staring at each other, ignoring the beeping of the machines as they were just too focused on each other.
Mako stood over him, his eyes burning with a mixture of anger and desperation. “You think this is what she would have wanted? For you to give up? For you to let yourself be consumed by guilt and sorrow?”
Bill’s eyes widened and his lips quivered, but he couldn’t find the words to respond. He just kept his eyes locked on Mako as more tears streaming down his cheeks.
“You think you are the only one who blames himself for her death! I was the team leader! I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself! I allowed you three to head out while I remained at the hotel! If it’s anyone’s fault, It’s mine! I wasn’t fast enough to reach you guys… to save her!” Mako shouted, releasing all of his pent up emotion as well.
As the old saying goes to fight fire with fire, Mako was fight Bill’s emotions with his own.
“I was so swallowed by guilt that I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep! All I could think about was my weakness to so anything that actually mattered! But I didn’t crawl away into some dark hole and feel sorry! I worked myself to the bone! Training every second I got so that I would be strong enough for the next challenge, because I know that’s what she would have wanted.”
Mako added.
Just then, the door to the recovery burst open and Professor Curtis along with the head nurse rushed to see what had happened to Bill after receiving the alert from the machine.
However, Mako and Bill were still focused on each other to notice anything around them. Erin quickly gestured to stop, letting them know that everything was okay and to not interfere
between them.
The staredown between the two friends continued, but this time Bill’s expression has completely changed from feeling guilt and anger to a look of sadness, understanding, and
shock.
Mako took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “She made a choice, Bill. She made a choice to save you because she believed in you. She saw something in you worth saving. Do you think she would want you to throw that away? To waste the life she gave you?”
Bill’s eyes widened even more, the weight of Mako’s words sinking in. He had never thought about it that way. All he could see was his own failure, his own guilt. But Mako was right. She had made a choice. She had seen something in him worth saving.
“I… I don’t know if I can live with this,” Bill admitted, his voice barely audible.
“Then live for me, dammit! Remember, you said that you owe me your life! I want you to live on and become a man that Iris would have been proud of!” Mako shouted again after listening to Bill letting despair reign over his heart again.
Bill though back to the time when Mako saved him after he had escaped from El diablo. The person that he had tormented and bullied for 4 years had saved his life and even forgave him
for it.
He could have never repaid Mako for the kindness he had shown him and so he promised him
his own life.
“You don’t have to live with it alone,” Mako said, his tone softer now. “We’re here for you, Bill. I’m here for you. We all are. But you have to fight. You have to fight for her, for yourself.
You owe her that much.”
Bill closed his eyes, the tears still flowing freely. He thought about her, about the sacrifice she had made. He thought about the person she had believed him to be. And slowly, he began to realize that maybe, just maybe, he could be that person.
Mako watched as Bill’s expression slowly changed, the guilt and sorrow giving way to something else. Determination. Resolve. It was a small change, but it was a start. “We’ll get through this, Bill,” Mako said, his voice firm but gentle. “Together.” Bill opened his eyes and looked at Mako, a glimmer of hope in his gaze. “Together,” he echoed, his voice stronger now.