Vigor Mortis

Chapter 21: Girl Behind the Window

A whirlwind of outfits later, I unwillingly find myself in an ankle-length satin dress, white with trims of blue around the edges. Toe-covering sandals complete the look, stylish without showing off the disgusting mess that is my nails. Altogether the outfit is the most expensive thing I’ve ever touched, and I am now constantly on the verge of a panic attack simply by having it on. What if I get it dirty? What if I rip it? If I run off and sell the dress, how long could I feed my family for?

Penelope and Norah chat happily on the way, but I can’t even try to pay attention. I feel so out of place! Penelope is taking us in pretty much the opposite direction to where I live, down and down towards the center of the city where all the rich people are. People are chatting happily on the street, wearing fancy clothes, and eating all sorts of foods I’ve never seen or smelled before. Buildings are built higher, painted colorful hues and devoid of damage. The souls here are stronger, firmer, not attached to the suffering, dying bodies of the damned. It’s a horribly beautiful place, and I feel like I’m about to vomit every second I stay here.

I make it to the inner wall, a place I’ve heard of but never before seen. What would be the point? Getting caught past it means more than a slap on the wrist from the guards; anyone looking like me would be assumed a thief in a rich place like the inner city, and to be fair that is the only reason anyone like me would ever try to go. I quiver at the gate guards, part of me terrified they’ll notice how I so clearly don’t belong, and part of me terrified that they wouldn’t.

Penelope just holds me in one arm and Norah in the other, smiling at the guards like there wasn’t a chance they would ever question her. They don’t, and in we go. No matter how hard my heart pounded, it was still real.

I had been floored in the fancier district just before, but the inner city is an entirely different universe. Grand mansions steal the view in the distance even as the opulence of the first street overwhelms me. The buildings are all stone, not clay. They sparkle in the light, a level of cleanliness pervading everything that I would have never before been able to conceive. When Penelope finally takes us to the bathhouse— a massive building with an endless stream of people walking in and out— I’m sure the jig was up. Someone would call the guard and I’ll be kicked out… or maybe taken away somewhere and exposed as a heretic!

Instead, Penelope simply cuts to the head of the line, grabbing me in a side-hug as she leans over the counter to talk to the receptionist.

“Mary! Wonderful to see you. My friend here just took the nastiest fall, as I’m sure you can tell. We’re going to need the works today.”

“Of course, Lady Vesuvius,” the receptionist answers, smiling brilliantly. “Three, then?”

“Please.”

Penelope then swiftly pulls me down a hallway, the shock of the whole situation letting me finally gag out a few words.

“Lady Vesuvius???”

“So they call me,” Penelope answers.

“Wait, Vita, you didn’t know?” Norah asks, surprised.

“Of course I didn’t know! I knew you were rich, but… a lady? The fuck are you a hunter for?”

Vesuvius, Vesuvius… which noble house was that? I legitimately have no idea. I know jack shit about politics. Penelope just grimaces, declining to answer my question.

“A story for another time. Come on, let’s get undressed.”

“I put all this on just to take it off again???”

Penelope rolls her eyes, she and Norah starting to strip. To my surprise, they don’t stop with their underthings. Am I going to have to walk around naked? Oh, well. I doubt anybody will bother to look at me when I’m next to Lady Curves and Mount Muscle.

…For some reason, that thought is making me feel worse instead of better. There isn’t much time to think about it, and soon my naked, boney butt was being ushered into the bathhouse proper. Other naked people were everywhere, not to mention the pools full of steaming hot water.

“…Are you sure this isn’t going to scald my skin off?” I ask.

“Not unless you piss off the thermomancer in charge!” Norah answers gleefully.

Then she pushes me in. Oh, shit! It was… it was…

Really nice.

Really nice.

“Well? You like it, Vita?” Penelope asks.

“Murfleburblegrble.”

“Thought so.”

I lean down into the heavenly waters. What is this? I’ve never felt anything like this before. This is incredible. Warmth, all over my body. Holding me, soothing me. It felt so good. I could relax in here forever…

I nearly pass out before Penelope suddenly snaps her fingers twice in front of my face.

“Hey! Don’t sleep in the baths, Vita.”

I shoot awake, looking around in a panic. Oh gosh, that’s right! I have to stay vigilant! The parasite was…!

…Totally normal. Its soul has been getting bigger a bit faster lately, but Penelope’s soul seems fine. The slime is doing something, though, and I still need to figure out what. For that matter, what the heck is Penelope up to? Being super nice is weird. She must want something, right?

“So, Norah,” Penelope says suddenly. “Finally learning to use a weapon?”

She groans.

“Yeah. Remus pretty firmly ‘suggested’ I learn to use a gladius. It’s the only style he knew that could go with the size of shield I prefer. I don’t really like it, but after my shit showing on our mission… yeah, I need to suck it up.”

“It was kind of weird that you planned to slay monsters without actually slaying anything,” I chime in.

“I don’t wanna slay monsters, I want to protect people who slay monsters. But I was just an idiot. You’re the one that had to protect me when those fuckin’ tentacle bitches attacked. I never thought a monster would be smart enough to try and pull my armor off! I seriously thought I was gonna die.”

“I think the plan went fine,” I say. “You were the shield, I was the spear. Or I guess the knife. It worked as intended. It’s not bad that there might be an even better way.”

Norah grins.

“Hey, look at you, cheering me up. What have you two been up to all day, anyway?”

“Well, as I said before, Remus is making Vita and I stick together. So I ended up… accompanying her on her morning errands.”

“And you’ve been weirdly nice about it,” I chime in, absentmindedly creating a fort out of bubbles. “You have been since you got that slime in your head.”

“I’m just… grateful you saved my life!” Penelope stammers in protest. “And… apologetic. I thought you were lying, when clearly you were not.”

I use the bubbles to form myself a magnificent beard.

“I forgive you,” I intone imperiously, trying to sound as regal as the beard deserves.

Penelope titters politely as Norah grinned. I glance at them sidelong, really getting a look at the two. I’m very unused to seeing naked people; growing up, everyone had only one pair of clothes and if they took them off they were just gonna get stolen. By that token, I’m not used to seeing myself naked either; like yeah, I had to pee sometimes, but there aren’t a lot of reasons to take my shirt off. Norah, being ridiculously tall, is halfway out of the water when she sits up straight, rippling muscles glistening with moisture and drawing the eyes of more than a few other nearby bathers. Penelope is much shorter, her chest bobbing lazily as she relaxes in the waters. It must feel weird to have so much fat floating around on its own like that. I, on the other hand, barely have my chin out of the water, as short as I am. Underneath the water, I hug myself, feeling at the painful, poofy nubs that were supposedly the start of my own breasts. They are very annoying. Even the slightest nudge set off a screaming pain on bad days, and someday they might grow into something like those? I’m not looking forward to it. It’s embarrassing to even think about.

…Oh shit, wasn’t this close to the day Penelope said I’m going to start bleeding?

“I think I’m done with the bath for now,” I murmur.

“Finally got those monster guts off your face?” Penelope jokes. “It feels good though, right?”

“…Yes. Really good.”

“I’m glad.”

The three of us get out, dressing in towels and robes. Penelope quickly takes me on a whirlwind tour through the facility, employees there working on my nails, my face, my hair (the latter of which gave them great trouble, to both Penelope’s and Norah’s amusement) and at the end of it all, I’m presented with my now-freshly-washed clothes once again. I simply let myself be pushed from place to place, utterly baffled by every event and shoved along to the next one before I can get my bearings.

“Now for the best part,” Penelope announces, to my abject horror. There’s more???

The next room is odd. Another pool of water, though this one isn’t steaming. I already have clothes on… is this for my feet, or something? I walk over and almost step in, but Penelope grabs me.

“Ah! No, don’t touch the reflecting pool, Vita. Look.”

I look, staring down at the perfectly calm surface of the water. Penelope was there, her arm around some kid I’ve never seen before.

Wait. Pieces click into place. I’m ignorant, not stupid. Is that… me?

My breath catches in my throat. Metal can be reflective, I’m told. Glass as well. Clear, clean water. All rich things. None of them had been part of my life until now.

My own face has never been a part of my life until now.

Tears well in the eyes of the person in the mirror, rolling down her cheeks. Hollow cheeks, by most people’s standards, but not mine. I’m filling out in many ways. Yet I still looked so, so young.

“Vita? Hey!”

Norah walks over, standing over the both of us as I start to sob, trying to catch the tears in my hands so they won’t disturb the perfect pool.

“Are you okay, Vita?” Norah asks.

“Y-yeah,” I choke out, hiccupping a little as the tears start gushing. “I just never… I didn’t know that…”

“Aw, Vita…” Norah says softly, grabbing my shoulder. “That big of a difference?”

I shake my head.

“N-no, I… I’ve never seen…”

I fail to choke out the rest of my sentence. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that’s what I look like.

“Never?” Norah asks, startled. Penelope just gives a soft smile.

“When I saw… I mean, when I remembered this, I thought of you. I realized you had to come here, after today.”

“I-I-I c-can see why p-people call me a k-k-kid I guess,” I blubber scornfully. “I r-really do look l-like I’m f-fucking twelve…”

“Oh, V…”

Norah leaned down and wrapped her arms around my stomach, hugging me tightly. Penelope side-hugged, giving a firm, one-armed squeeze.

“Thanks for keeping us all alive, Vita,” Norah says. “No matter how old you are or look, you’re the best scout we could ever ask for.”

“Please continue keeping us all alive,” Penelope adds. “I would very much prefer my continued existence.”

My sobs transition into choked laughter, grabbing each of their arms with one of my own and squeezing them back. These idiots have no fucking clue who they’re talking to, huh? Someone that keeps people alive is the opposite of what I am. I can keep pretending, though. At least for a little longer.

“I’ll try,” I whisper.

The moment eventually ends. We all exit the bathhouse, Penelope paying for each of us. I make a concentrated effort to not look at however much it costs. I don’t ever want to know.

“So? Shopping trip?” Penelope suggests.

“No! Nonono!” I insist, waving my arms frantically. “Too much!”

“Aww, the little kiddo is overwhelmed already?” Norah teases.

“M’not a kiddo,” I grumble, crossing my arms.

It was harder to put my heart into that, though. Damnit, I am a kiddo! I have pinchable cheeks and everything! I‘ve always known I’m super short, but that… ugh. That face just doesn’t feel right.

“It’s all right, we can head back to the guild,” Penelope says. “That was just a little apology treat.”

“…I hope my whole family can go there someday,” I say after a short while. “Being here while they’re still at the shack… it just feels wrong.”

“Hey, come on, Vita!” Norah says, clapping me on the back hard enough to make me stumble. “Your family loves you, right? They’re going to be happy that you got to be happy. Don’t you dare feel bad for feeling good.”

I snort.

“That’s catchy. ‘Don’t feel bad for feeling good.'”

“Isn’t it? My mom says it all the time. We gotta keep telling ourselves that, you know? When things are unfair. When it feels like we have more than we deserve. We gotta. If you start hating yourself for liking yourself, you’re doomed.”

Yet every cent Penelope just spent on bathing could have gotten them more food. I could be working, or helping, or something. My happiness did have a cost, and other people paid it in what-ifs or should-haves. At what point do I forgive myself for happiness so much that I forget others were suffering? It sure seems to be what everyone else had done, to just let us rot for sixteen years. I have a long and thoughtful walk back to the guild. Once we arrive, however, Penelope twirls around in front of me, grinning mischievously.

“Well, shall we show off to the boys?”

“Um, what?” I ask, startled.

“Oooh, yes! Let’s do it!” Norah cheers, grinning. “I’m liking this fun Penelope we have all of a sudden!”

Penelope laughs, dragging Norah and I upstairs. It was so jarring to see her like this, but I can’t say it wasn’t welcome! Maybe she was opening up because she was finally developing some gratitude and sympathy… or maybe the slime was making her nicer somehow. I might have a hard time convincing myself to remove it, if that’s the case.

…Maybe that’s why it does that. Nah, I doubt it. How would that help a burrow hound parasite?

I let those contemplations distract me as best I’m able as the prospect of meeting my male teammates while wearing a fancy dress slowly creeps into my thoughts. This is technically my first time wearing a dress, although a few times I’ve put on a really big shirt and pretended it was one. There’s something imminently terrifying about the idea of letting Orville and Bently see me in this thing.

“I-I don’t know about this…!” I stammer.

Penelope stops dragging me for a second, turning back with a smile.

“Hey, it’s all right. If you feel a little out of place, imagine how they’re going to feel! The more confident you look, the better the tease.”

“Yeah, you’re not trying to date either of them, are ya Vita?” Norah asks.

“N-no!” I protest.

“Then don’t worry! Me and P will take the heat off of you. Just give ‘em a cute face and they’ll melt. You look like a bucket of kittens, Vita.”

“Think of it like giving them extra motivation to protect you from monsters,” Penelope chimes in.

Huh. I figured being the scout gave them all the motivation they needed, but I still couldn’t say no to an argument like that. I got bit once and nearly died; the more protection, the better.

“Okay,” I murmur.

“Perfect!” Penelope cheers, knocking on the door to the boy’s room. “Oh, gentlemen…!”

A bit of shuffling later and Orville cracks open the door, peering out.

“What do you want, Peneloooooooo… huh.”

He blinks, staring between the three of us. A blush went right up my cheeks despite my mental pleas to the contrary.

“…Is there some fancy event nobody told me about?” Orville eventually asks, opening the door fully. He looks a bit intimidated.

“Oh, is everyone here? Hello!” Bently walks over to the door and waves. “Wow! You all look great!”

“Why thank you, Bently! I’m glad someone here has proper manners,” Penelope coos, grinning at Orville as she says it. “You all wouldn’t be interested in coming down for a meal with us, would you?”

It figures that Bently was utterly unfazed. That made me grin a little. It was good seeing him upbeat again. Orville looked away, seeming about as embarrassed as I felt.

“Did you guys dress up that fancy just to go down to the mess hall…?” Orville asks.

“No! Of course not, we went out earlier,” Penelope protests. “I suppose we could go out to eat as well, but I’m afraid Vita will have a stroke if I spend any more money today.”

That was probably accurate.

“Well, I’m hungry!” Bently says happily. “Come on, Orville, let’s go eat!”

The whole crew heads downstairs, Orville and I following from our firm position in Team Awkward as the others chatted happily. The cooks all smiled at me when I went to get food, sending a few compliments my way and causing my blush to redden ever deeper. Penelope and Norah look like they’re eating up the attention, but it freaks me out. Attention was bad where I lived. It was bad as a thief, it was bad as a con, and it was especially bad as a worthless street rat. All of my instincts screamed against this. I wish I could just cast a spell and disappear. Hmm… actually, that’s not a bad idea. I’ve been meaning to ask.

“Hey, Orville,” I prompt, sitting down next to him with my stew bowl, “is there any chance you’d have time to teach me magic at some point?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Orville answers. “Magic is super dangerous. You might blow yourself up.”

“Gosh, if only the two of you knew a biomancer that could treat mana backlash,” Penelope butts in, smirking. “I think Vita has the patience and focus for it, Orville, don’t you?”

“Oh geez, you two better not be teaching Murderface how to shoot fireballs,” Norah says.

“Murderface???” I protest.

“Neither of us know thermomancy,” Orville grunts. “More importantly, neither of us have a teaching license. We could get in big trouble with the government if we teach her anything.”

“Fuck the government, they don’t even know I exist!” I pout.

“Come on, Orville! Let her try!” Bently says, grinning.

“It’s magic! It’s not something you can just ‘try.’ I’d have to teach her fundamentals for months before she’s ready to grasp even basic metamancy!”

“I’ll be a good student!” I say. “I promise!”

“Vita, it’s illegal!”

“I mean, I won’t tell the guard if you won’t,” I say, shrugging. “It’ll be fine!”

“I’m not teaching you magic, Vita.”

Damnit, Orville was a tough nut to crack. But I want to learn! He leaves me no choice. If I still look like a little kid, then I still have access to the ultimate beggar’s technique: the puppy-dog eyes. I stare up at him, desperation creeping into my face, lip trembling just the right amount. It was a stare to capture a heart.

“Pleaaaaaaase?”

Look! Look how small and cute I am! Does he think I won’t use this? Does he think my pride is worth missing the chance to cast spells??? It’s not! Orville holds firm for an impressive few seconds before crumbling under the might of my adorable face. Penelope may one day regret giving me this power.

“…Fine,” he grumbles. “A mage-scout would be invaluable, if you ever get there.”

“Yes!” I cheer, jumping up and pumping my fists.

“Damn, that one was even scarier than the murderface,” Norah comments.

“Will you teach me too, Orville?” Bently asks excitedly.

“Fuck no!”

Laughter erupts from around the table. I return to stuffing my face, trying to hide my idiotic grin behind mouthfuls of stew. Magic! Magic, magic, magic! Conversation continues around me, but I’m too busy eating and being excited to pay much attention to it. At some point Penelope excuses herself to go to the bathroom, but the outhouse the guild uses is well within my sensory range. I feel her indeed head to the bathroom, keeping mental tabs on her parasite but not thinking much of it. I can finally sit back and relax.

I can’t fall asleep, though. Not until Penelope is healed.