Will of chaos

Pov Duchess:

I was having a dream where this whole mansion is destroyed and this Duke is dead under my feet.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed about this, but it’s always so much fun to destroy everything and kill these bastards.” (I)

That’s right, this is a recurring dream where I always destroy and kill these bastards, every time I wake up from this dream I feel renewed, but when I look in the mirror I no longer recognize the face I see.

I’m 30 years old now, but I still look like I did when I was twenty, after everything I’ve read I’ve found that this is a side effect of all the potions and medicines I’ve been forced to take to heal my body almost every day since I married this bastard over ten years ago.

All I know is that this dream is always when I feel most alive, in this place I can be myself.

“You’ve proven your will by resisting this far, now wake up.”

“Wake up child, your wish is about to come true.”

“Who’s there!?” (I)

“…” (I)

For some reason, a heavy voice appeared out of nowhere from all directions.

“I am the one you asked for strength a long time ago, now I give you the opportunity to get it yourself.”

“Than you…” (I)

When I wanted to know more I felt a great pain in my head and I woke up, I tried to calm down and think clearly, I woke up on the floor beside the bed in my room, this is the place where I am forced to sleep due to the orders of that Hell, I’ve been sleeping here for over 10 years.

“Am I awake? Did that voice wake me up?” (I)

I get up and look out the window seeing it’s still the middle of the night.

“That voice, I feel like I’ve heard that voice before, but when…” (I)

“Will…” (I)

I remember something five years ago, after so much suffering I prayed to every God or Goddess I was able to remember the name, but maybe because I didn’t have enough faith or they didn’t care about me, none of them answered my request of desperate help.

So in the first Demon book that was in a common language that I could find I learned about a Demon God, his teachings preached about the will for revenge, his teachings talked about taking revenge, he talked about the justice of taking revenge for the right reasons and against the target right, reading that book all I could think was that this god was a god of justice, he preached that the victim should seek justice for himself with his own will, I think this was the first and only time I prayed to a god no hate in my mind.

I still remember that I thought I heard a voice at that time, but as there was no one around I thought it was my imagination, but I remember what the voice was saying.

“Prove your will.”

For some reason those words have always resonated in my ears ever since, it feels like a voice in the back of my mind like it wants to see if I’m strong enough to take justice into my own hands.

“So all this time he’s been watching, the only God who truly cared for me, Vidark the God of vengeance.” (I)

“He told me to wake up, but what’s going on…” (I)

I get up and leave the room, start walking the halls, but notice something.

“Why don’t I see anyone?” (I)

I can understand the maids being only 1/3 of the numbers during the night, but the number of guards usually increases during the night, but now I don’t find anyone in the hallways, I feel like I’m alone.

I go to a room where there is a big window to the outside in an attempt to see if the guards outside are there.

“They’re all gone, I hope they’re dead, too bad I didn’t kill them.” (I)

“But thank you for that intruder.” (I)

“You managed to notice me, it looks like I still have a lot to train.”

I turn to see a figure stepping out of the shadows, his black clothes and gray mask make me think of a murderer, from his size and voice I thought it might be a child, but from the eyes, I could see through the holes in the mask I don’t think so must be a child, he or she has different colored eyes one eye golden and the other purple, I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl by his voice.

“You look like a Human, I imagine you’re one of the Demon worshippers.”

“I really started to believe in a Demon God, but I’m not one of those idiot fanatics being manipulated by Demons.” (I)

“From the calm way you speak, you don’t seem to be afraid of me.”

“Why would I be? All we’re doing is talking.” (I)

“You don’t even have bloodlust directed at me, so I have no reason to be nervous.” (I)

“But I’m curious, why didn’t you kill me when you were walking down the hall before I noticed you?” (I)

“I noticed the smell of blood on the clothes you’re wearing, that’s the same smell I smell coming from you.”

“Also, your eyes full of happiness when you didn’t see anyone in the hallways or outside shows that you’re not with them.”

“You’re right, I’m not with them.” (I)

The outfit I’m wearing is a one-piece nightgown full of red stains that are my own blood, I lift the nightgown to show the bondage mark on my inner thigh as I sarcastically introduce myself to my peerage.

“my name is Alessandra, I’m just the Duchess of this city.” (I)

“…”

I feel his eyes on me, but what he’s seeing is not my body, he notices the scars that are normally hidden by the dress, I can see the fury in his eyes rising.

He looked at me, he looked into my eyes and it felt like he could see deep inside me.

I felt like he wasn’t feeling sorry for me, he wasn’t judging me either, he was sizing me up as if in an attempt to decide something.

“I planned to let you loose, but the slave mark you have is from a curse not easily removed by normal means, I’ve seen it twice.”

“I can also see the hatred and fury in your eyes, that smile on your face can no longer be considered a normal person’s either.”

“So let me ask you, do you hate this Duke?”

“Yea.” (I)

When he started to speak I felt like she could see what I really was, he could see through this face that doesn’t represent me and understand who I really am, a broken person even if I broke free I wouldn’t be able to live together to other normal people and I know it.

But when he asked his question it felt like something awakened inside me, all the horrible memories of those years come to mind, all the pain, torture, abuse, humiliation, suffering, and sadness bubbles up from inside me releasing bloodlust I have contained within me for years, even I can tell how much my response was filled with the will to kill.

“Do you hate the Demon or Vampire race?”

“…” (I)

His question didn’t make sense to me at first, but I remembered the teachings of God Vidark that I read five years ago, I also remembered my early days here where there were Demons who didn’t want to harm me and died in front of me.

I realized that I shouldn’t hate the entire race for the crimes of some, after all, there were even humans on the side of this Demon doing horrible things, all races must have good and bad people, this made me understand the teachings of directing your revenge correctly if directing all my hatred towards all of the Demon race I will be no different from that Demon.

Sigh

“At first I hated them all, but now my hatred is directed only at the Duke and his companions.” (I)

“Do you have any prejudice against other races?”

“No, I was from a family of merchants, I was taught from an early age that prejudice only gets in the way of business.” (I)

“Do you have any attachment to your humanity?”

“…” (I)

I look at my own hands for a few seconds, then look at the wall next to me where there’s a mirror where I can see my reflection.

I’m looking at the face of a person who hasn’t been around for a long time, the face of a person who hasn’t been able to resist the loss of their parents.

“I don’t have any attachment to my humanity, even if I’m Human on the outside, I know that on the inside to a darkness that no Human should have.” (I)

He takes off his mask revealing beautiful dark skin and red hair, his face is beautiful in its innocence giving a giant contrast to his shrewd and deep eyes, he smiles at me showing his fangs and I can see the seriousness and sincerity in his expression where not hides his race to show me who he is.

“Then hold my hand, I will give the power to your revenge.”

“Join me and leave all hate behind, this will be your new life, what you do with it is up to you.”

“…” (I)

He’s also a Vampire, he didn’t try to hide it, in his eyes I can see sincerity but I can also see the depth that seems to suck everything into an endless abyss, he held out his hand and it felt like there was someone guiding my hand to hold his.

When I held his hand, I could feel that it was warm and pleasant, this is the first time I have felt this heat in over 10 years, for some reason the tears that I thought had dried up a long time ago came back to my eyes, he pulled me away closer, wrapping me in his arms and allowing me to cry myself out of consciousness as if I were a child. 𝒷𝓮𝒹𝓃ℴ𝓿𝓮𝓁.𝓬𝓸𝓂

“Put it all out, today you took your first step.”