Chapter 30 Not Him
"Zero…..you are not Zero, right?"
I considered the possibility that it might be something serious but never in my lifetime had I thought that I would hit the nail right on the mark.
I was at a literal loss of words. What she said gave me Goosebumps, like I have been jump scared by a horror movie.
She didn't say anything after that, nor did I.
This was simply too much for me to process! I mean, what am I even supposed to say here?
Should I deny or accept it?
If I think a little bit deeper then she must have done her homework if she's out to say something like this, hmm, then she probably has something of evidence or proof to support her statement.
Where was it? Where did I make a miss? Till now and from the point I reincarnated, I made sure to leave no trace of anything that will raise suspicion against me.
I did all the magic training when no one was looking and I even hide my powers, keeping the profile of an average teenager.
I never missed out on any study lessons I had with Ron, even though the mathematics they have here is way behind what we had on earth. Even so, I never let it show that I already know everything.
The persona of a normal teenage boy, I did everything while keeping that in mind. That I never ever should cross that limit!
Then where did it go wrong???????
Ah, Come on! I have to think about this more objectively or I'll be busted! What will happen if my cover is blown? Execution?
There's a possibility because since reincarnation is a very, very rare thing, people will likely believe that I possessed this body or something.
I can't let that happen in any case!! After all, I will be separated from Ron, Ainge, and my sister. While I can't completely call them my family, I did have built a kind of relationship with them, which I must protect at any cost!
Think, think, think, think, think, think, think!!!
I began going through all the things I did, revising and checking them in my mind.
Then I struck me! What I overdid, what I missed.
It was my plan about saving Anya, it was way too complicated for an average teenage boy to handle, that's sure, and to make it even worse I told Anya everything in detail.
'Why I did do that?' was a question I was not able to answer. Maybe because she was family? Maybe because I felt a sense of security when being with her?
It must be something like that, but before I could think any further, Anya spoke up again.
"The silence is the answer I guess...but still, I want to hear it from you. Are you really the Zero I know?"
Ah shit! I messed up big this time!
An average teenage boy—or rather the real Zero—would have laughed off at this type of question, declaring it utter nonsense and saying "have you lost your mind" or something like that to Anya.
There was no need to think things through; I could have denied her suspicions simply.
But now it was too late, there's no going back now, I should tell her probably. After all, denying it at this point—after this long period of silence—will only raise her suspicion even more.
So I prepared myself and sipped on my tea before dropping the ball. After that I said.
"Yes, you are right. I am not that Zero you know, that person was lost five years ago."
And with that, Anya fell completely silent. Maybe I was just imagining it but tears were flowing down her cheeks, though she instantly wiped them off so I wasn't able to confirm what it was.
'What? Did I mess up again?'
Maybe deep inside, she doesn't want to believe it, the truth that the real Zero is lost.
To her, it must've felt the same as his brother dying. Because right now, the person in here was not Zero Blanks, but ######, or me.
This body was just a shell now, a piece of decoration to say.
But what's done is done, if she asked me this then she must have also strengthened herself that her speculations can be the real truth.
'Sigh! I am not directly at fault here then why am I feeling this vast amount of guilt?'
It was strange because guilt was not a thing I usually felt. So it was also feeling a little nostalgic now.
Perhaps I should clear everything up since I am busted already. Or rather, this was the only way.
I mean, after learning that the person you thought is your brother turned out to be someone else, someone you didn't know, that will really make you feel insecure, won't it?
That's why I thought I should tell her about me, not Zero Blanks. Our relationship won't be of normal brother and sister after this, that I know, but it's better than her thinking of me as a complete stranger.
I don't know why I want to tell her about my reincarnation. I can easily lie my way out here, then why am I not doing that? Why do I feel something will go wrong if I did that?
No, wait, I do know. In this world, Anya is family to me; at least from my side, I see her as family. And I don't want to manipulate my family members ever again, I don't want to control their strings.
I if do, then I know there will be no going back. That's why I have set up some rules for myself; to stop myself from going out of control.
…Not manipulating my family members is one of those rules.
Hence I began.
...….
…..
…
After that, I told her everything. About how I was reincarnated and started living as her brother. As for why I didn't tell anyone about it? Well, I can't help it, I had my own worries to care about.
And like anyone's gonna believe if I just go around spouting nonsense like "hey I've been reincarnated", hell even I won't believe if some other person told me this.
'No maybe I will, since the author side of mine takes over in times like these," but that's not the point here.
Putting that aside, I was surprised at how Anya was listening to it all in without asking me nonsensical questions.
"And here we are, that's how this whole thing kinda happened. I know this might sound ridiculous but I had no control over this reincarnation, I had no intentions of taking over your brother's body."
? With that, I finished.
"S-So that's how it is, meaning my brother died five years ago when his heart stopped. Since then it was just you," said Anya, who was quietly listening to me till now.
"That's how it is huh," she repeated, tears forming in her eyes.
"Yeah, that's how it is."
I said that, but I was not feeling quite right. Like I was doing something wrong here, maybe I was forcing myself on her.
I had to confirm it, so.
I stretched out my left hand and then, I triggered elemental magic. A long rod-like ice spike materialized, starting from the top of my palm and extending both sides.
"What that!" she said out of instinct, clearly surprised by my actions.
I put the cup of tea on the log and stood up, at the same time Anya took a few steps back, in case I was planning on attacking her with this.
But I had nothing of sort in my mind, instead, I held out my hand toward her. Offering her the ice spike I said.
"Take this and kill me if you don't want me here. Or if you think I did something that shouldn't be done. Since this body is of your brother, I won't live if you don't want me to."
There was no behind-the-scenes scheming or utter motives involved in this. I was doing what I think is right.
Anya was hesitating so I move forward, "I won't resist if you do me in now, and I will go back if you want me to."
She looked at me, then at the spike. Thinking over it for a while, her hands slowly moved toward the spike.
Her hands were trembling, clearly, she was under too much pressure here but that's why I simply stood at my place, not moving an inch.
Those trembling hands reached the spike and grabbed it. When she held the spike, she jumped a little out of shock, probably because she was touching pure ice now.
Holding onto the spike, she looked at me.