Chapter 31 Conclusion
"Take this and kill me if you don't want me here. Or if you think I did something that shouldn't be done. Since this body is of your brother, I won't live if you don't want me to."
Those words left Zero's mouth, unable to understand what he meant I just stood there.
What does he mean by I should kill him? I mean, is he for real? How can I kill my—
No, that's not the case here. He is not my brother.
The person standing in front of me right now is not Zero. He is someone entirely else, someone I don't know. Zero's body is just a shell; the person controlling it is "him".
He...is using Zero's body, using it to live a life here. T-That's not right, is it? If I think about it then he was just pretending to be Zero this whole time, and that's not a thing you usually do.
That's wrong, I know he said that this reincarnation happened against his will but he should have told us about it; that he is not Zero.
All this time I was thinking of "him" as my little brother, I treated him like my little brother, and now that I know he is not the Zero I knew then I feel...scared, betrayed, and angry.
Then maybe is it okay to—?
"I won't resist if you do me in now, and I will go back if you want me to."
See? Even he is saying that it is okay. Then I should go for it, right? I mean, I am not killing my brother here—he is already dead—, I am just killing this stranger.
'Stranger?'
I was lost in thought but my hands moved on their own toward the weapon he was holding in his hands. My hands were trembling rapidly, not because of the cold weather but because of the fear.
Yes, fear, the fear of being unsure.
For a second I thought that this was one of his plans and he will move away or do something when I will try to take the weapon from him but, nothing happened.
My hands reached that spike-like thing and I grabbed it, but he didn't move; not even an inch.
'Why? Why is he not resisting? I know he said he won't but this is just clear stupidity, throwing away your life like this!'
Then a thought struck me, 'Was he really a stranger?', a question I was thinking from the time he revealed himself.
These past five years I spent with him, even if I treated him as Zero it was still "him" at the place. And he didn't try to take any advantage of this misunderstanding I or we had.
The time I spent with him, the time I helped him train in the sword arts, all that was real. Not an illusion.
Instead of doing something bad he even saved me—from Walric—and thanks to him, our family is richer than before.
I had more or less got that answer to that question.
'Maybe he was not Zero, someone who I didn't know. But he was not a stranger, not at all.'
He is just a victim in all this and it's not his fault that he ended up in Zero's body. If this was something god, the life he gave him, then it is not my place to take it.
***
Those trembling hands reached the spike and grabbed it. When she held the spike, she jumped a little out of shock, probably because she was touching pure ice now.
Holding onto the spike, she looked at me.
The face spoke for itself; maybe she reached some kind of conclusion. If I think logically, then there is no real reason for her to not kill me.
Since the odds were against me, I closed my eyes and readied myself for whatever she has decided for me.
'I did it again,' I said to myself, once again I will regret causing trouble in my family.
But the thing that happened was not something that I expected.
I felt warmth, the warmth of another person, and at the same time, a pleasant smell closed in. My eyes suddenly opened as this was a thing I was not familiar with.
Then I saw Anya, genteelly embracing me within her arms. The spike was thrown on the ground and was currently lying there.
"There's no way I can kill you. This was something I didn't start so I don't have any right to end it either. Besides, even if you are not Zero, you are not a stranger to me. The time I spent with you is real and I got to know you as a person; also that you're not a bad person," she whispered in my ear.
This sudden change of events stunned me into silence.
'What is this? Why is she not killing me? I am not her brother, the real Zero? I am a traitor who used her brother's body as a cover, there's no meaning behind her act of not killing me. Logically it would've been fine for her to kill me; I would have done it if I were in her shoes.'
Realizing that she was embracing me for quite a bit of time now, she released me from her grip and stepped back at a distance.
She looked at me; her cheeks red with embracement. Maybe this was an after effect of what she just did now after the thought hit him that I was not really his brother.
'Wait for a second! Why does this feel a bit cliché now? Like a scene out of some crappy novel,' I thought about it then quickly discarded the thought.
"S-So this is it, I am not going to kill you, and you better not try anything funny either. You know, we have to leave for the academy tomorrow. You're also coming, right?" she said.
"Yeah, it will be going too," I replied.
She thought over something for a while and then left. Maybe this was a bit too much for her and she needed some alone time.
After she left, I sat back on the wooden log and finished my tea. I racked my brain pretty intensely so I needed some calories now.
'Maybe, just maybe there was a reason behind her actions. Maybe she was now emotionally attached to me, even if a little. Or maybe she just couldn't bring herself to kill someone. It can be justified I guess.
But Anya, you were completely wrong about something. I am not a good person, not even the slightest. If there was a ranking of human nature then I will place first from bottom, that much of a selfish scum I am.'