Chapter 152 - His Plan
Chapter 152 – His Plan
I don't remember how I managed to put on my clothes with my trembling hands. I was shaking all over, as if the snow from that vision had frozen me from inside out. I stumbled when I climbed out of bed, stumbled again over the threshold when I ran out of the room. I didn't know where I was going … until my feet took me to the small hill behind the library where Bai Ye's meditation chamber stood.
I halted at the entrance. Why did I come here? What did I want to do? Maybe Bai Ye hadn't started his retreat yet, and I could still talk to him … about what?
There was no question about what I saw and what I felt. I didn't know why the master from Azure Dragon Palace told me that I had no past life, but I knew for certain that the girl in red was me, and she had walked the exact same path I was walking right now. She bonded with Twin Stars. She gained tremendous power from it. She dual cultivated with Bai Ye …
And then he killed her with his own hands.
When she said she was the one to bear the consequences of his fault, she seemed to be suggesting that he was using her as a channel to obtain power from Twin Stars, so that he didn't have to risk bonding with the demonic sword himself. And when the power started affecting her to a threatening degree, he killed her, so that Twin Stars wouldn't lose control and go berserk. Was it true? Had this always been his plan? Was he taking the same measures now … with me?
No. I shook my head in denial and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to calm down. How could I even think of suspecting him like this? Bai Ye had put this scene into the crystal and handed it to me himself. He wanted me to see it. But he couldn't have wanted me to see something that would make me doubt everything between us. There must've been a mistake.
I took a deep breath. Then another, then another. When I thought that I'd finally be able to find a steady voice, I opened the door, swaying slightly on my feet as I crossed the entryway to the back chamber.
A seal was forming around the room—the seal to keep all sounds and visitors away and allow the meditator to concentrate in seclusion—which meant that Bai Ye hadn't started the retreat yet. I scuttled over, getting as close as I could until the power on the door started pushing me away. "Bai Ye?" I called in a dry rasp.
Through the hazy spiritual power condensing over the seal, I saw him striding over from the other side of the room. "You're awake?" he said softly. "Is there—"
He paused. I couldn't see the expression on his face clearly through the half-formed seal, but I knew he noticed my change. "You shouldn't have seen it so soon," he sighed.
I stared at him in disbelief. So he had expected this after all … He had expected me to feel this way after looking inside that crystal? I shook my head again stubbornly. "It's not like what she thought, is it?" I asked, desperate to hear him explain that it was all a misunderstanding. "You weren't obtaining power from Twin Stars through her, were you?"
He lowered his head, turning slightly away from me. After a little while, he said, "I was."
"… You didn't kill her to stop that power inside her from growing out of control, did you?"
"I did."
Words froze in my throat, and I suddenly felt chilled to the bones. This couldn't be true … Hearing him admit it himself extinguished the last bit of hope in me. "Then are you … are you doing the same now with me?" I asked, my voice a trembling squeak that I could barely hear myself. "Is that why you need this retreat so urgently right after I used the power enhancer … because the power of Twin Stars had helped you reach another breakthrough too soon?"
He turned his back to me this time. After another long pause, when I realized he wasn't going to answer my question, a burst of rage finally hit me. "Tell me!" I raised my voice. "If you wanted to show me the truth, then at least be brave enough to show me all of it! Was this your plan all along? Are you going to kill me as well when my power grows too strong just like hers? Is killing her once not enough?"
I had never shouted at anyone like this in my entire life. If only the seal wasn't too strong for me, I would've broken into that room and grabbed his collar to demand an explanation. But I couldn't. The barrier was solidifying fast as we spoke, his figure on the other side growing more and more obscure. He still didn't turn back to face me.
"This door will be fully sealed soon," he said at last. "You should go. I meant you no harm … but I understand if you choose not to trust me, and you're free to leave this hall if you no longer wish to be my disciple. Wait a year, then go tell the Gatekeeper that my retreat takes too long, and you need a new master. He won't hold anything against you that way."
"Answer my question!" My mind was too overwhelmed to be able to process such a roundabout response, and I screamed at him again. Then his words settled. "A year?" I repeated when the meaning of it started sinking in. "How long are you expecting to spend on this retreat?"
He stood still, the solitary image of his back a blurry contour behind the murky seal. "Take good care of yourself, Qing-er," he said softly. With those words, the swirl of light solidified in front of me, a white expanse granting no more glimpse of the other side.
"Bai Ye!" I instinctively tried to bang on the door, but the familiar yet relentless wave of his spiritual power struck back at me from the seal, pushing so forcefully that I lost my balance and fell.. When everything quieted in the empty hallway, I suddenly had a feeling that I would never be able to get those answers from him ever again.