Chapter 22: Florida Man Cures Stray Cat’s Blindness Using Homemade Parasites
Chapter 22 – Florida Man Cures Stray Cat’s Blindness Using Homemade Parasites
Leo ended up spending a few years of his lifespan purchasing bars of soap and a modern bathtub. After 30 minutes of scrubbing, Leo got out of the bathtub and poured the wastewater into the outhouse. Although he had some concerns if Cat could drink soap juice, he dumped the waste water there anyway.
After refreshing himself, Leo returned to the front of the store to resume butchering the wolf. This time, aside from his right hand, he wore some protection – the hazmat suit.
When Leo returned, he found the chomper licking the belly of the monster. Most of the yellow goo was gone. Noticeably, the purple skin of Cat glistened under the sunlight as if it had coated itself with premium lotions.
Leo frowned as Cat ate most of the goo. He complained.
“Cat, that mayonnaise is the ingredient of your purple juice. If you drink them all, I can’t make you those.”
“Meow?!”
Cat turned around and dropped its jaw. It covered its wide mouth with a few leaves, looking shocked.
Leo brought out a metal bucket that he always used to draw water from the stream. He put it next to the wolf and began scooping the remaining yellow pus into it. As not much fluid was left, Leo managed to fill half of the bucket.
“Don’t drink this anymore, okay?”
“Meow…”
Cat was dejected. Still, it seemed satisfied after the meal.
Looking at the chomper plant up close, Leo noticed something strange. Previously, its head was attached to its soft vine, and the branches were about one inch thick.
The present chomper’s vines and branches were twice thicker. In addition, it grew flower buds on its branches, producing white fog around itself. Fortunately, the flower buds gave off a lavender scent, so Leo had no issue with Cat.
“Go play somewhere else, Cat. Daddy is going to work.”
“Meow <3”
The chomper moved its eight chubby roots, walking like a spider. It climbed the cabin and sat on the roof, enjoying the sunbath.
As no one was around to interrupt his work, Leo began dissecting and skinning the monster. He purchased additional buckets and large bins to store the innards, blood, bones, skin, and meat.
At noon, Leo finally dissected everything. However, this time, he didn’t directly feed the organs to his pet right away. He brought each sample to the cauldron pot to research them.
The first item was none other than the intestines. He pressed the confirmation.
The result instantly appeared, but the intestines were ejected from the cauldron.
DING
<You have already researched Fenrir Intestine.>
“…”
Leo deeply frowned. He was sure that the intestines were different than the mutated wolf, yet the workshop system claimed that they were the same.
“Wut da hail?”
He tried the other ingredients. Unfortunately, the workshop rejected every item.
<You have already researched Fenrir Blood.>
<You have already researched Fenrir Liver.>
<You have already researched Fenrir Meat.>
<You have already researched Fenrir Skin.>
<You have already researched Fenrir Heart.>
“OH, COME ON! IT’S NOT THE SAME!”
Leo had the urge to launch this cauldron to Mars, but he couldn’t afford to waste his expensive workshop tools. He reached out for the emerald eyes of the wolf and tossed one of them inside.
This time, it vanished. The cauldron didn’t spit it out.
DING
<Research completed!>
<You have discovered the Eye of Fenrir!>
<A new pill recipe has been added to the encyclopedia.>
[Eye of Fenrir]
Extracted from an elder Fenrir. This is a universal catalyst for Wood, Metal, and Poison pills. It also contains thick poisonous miasma inside. Many demons love these as they usually implant them as their third or fourth eye to see through poison miasma. Can be used in alchemy to create a prosthetic eye.
[Alchemy Recipe – Prosthetic Eye of Fenrir]
One Eye of Fenrir
One Wood Element Catalyst
One Metal Element Catalyst
One Poison Element Catalyst
100cc of Yin Fluid
100cc of Fenrir Blood
Poison, Metal, and Wood Element Essence
“Prosthetic Eye?”
Leo was interested in this object. He double-checked the ingredient list in the recipe and made a checklist.
“I have no problem with essence since it magically comes out from my spit. The eye, checked. The yin fluid, obtainable, so checked. Fenrir Blood, checked. Poison catalyst? I can use the intestines for that, so checked. Metal catalyst, I can use the nuts. As for the last one… Wood element catalyst… eh.”
Leo pursed his lips and fell into deep thought. He remembered that he had it, but he couldn’t remember. Thus, he opened the encyclopedia menu of the workshop, searching if he had any item that could be used as a wood element catalyst.
It didn’t take long for him to find one. There was one item that he had researched before.
[Root of Infant Demon Dryad]
This root can be extracted from an infant demon dryad, a rare mythical specimen from a demonic realm. It can be used to substitute both wood and poison element catalysts due to its poisonous nature.
[Traits]
Increase any poison element pill success rate by 25%.
It was the chomper’s roots. Leo simply needed to cut a piece of it to use in this recipe. Wasting no time, Leo climbed up his store and went after Cat.
As Cat was photosynthesizing the sunlight, it was asleep. Its long chubby roots spread across the entire building.
Leo didn’t need much. He gently snapped the tip of the smallest root. It was one inch long, and it should not affect Cat much.
The chomper didn’t react when Leo cut the tip of its root, but it yawned and returned to change its sleeping posture.
After getting the necessary wood catalyst ingredient, Leo gathered all items and put them next to the workshop. He set the ingredients and chose the pill recipe. Then, he confirmed the system.
DING
<Refining Prosthetic Eye of Fenrir…>
A timer appeared. However, the duration shocked Leo.
23 Hours, 59 Minutes, 55 Seconds…
Leo facepalmed. It took too long to make this item. He felt like he wasted the opportunity to make more grain pills to make money.
Dejected, Leo returned to his cabin to clear the room for new wolf meat. He spent the rest of the day cooking, doing chores, and cutting wolf meat into smaller pieces.
The next day, at noon, Leo sat on a chair behind his store, staring at the cauldron. It slowly counted down while the progress bar gradually moved from left to right.
DING
<Workshop has refined 28 Inferior Prosthetic Eyes of Fenrir and 2 Lesser Prosthetic Eyes of Fenrir.>
“…”
The finished products floated over the cauldron, glittering in green light. All of them moved around as if they were alive, looking at the forest, cabin, workshop, and Leo in curiosity.
Leo was speechless. He had expected only one eye as he had only one wolf’s eye as the material. However, the workshop created 30!
He reached out to pick one of them. It wiggled and bounced on his palm while it stared into Leo’s eyes.
“Wut da hail are yu?”
*BOUNCE*
“…”
Inferior Prosthetic Eye of Fenrir
This prosthetic eye is a manmade parasite. By implanting it on a person’s face or replacing an eye, it will connect its nerves to the host’s brain, sharing its vision with the host. The eye has the following traits.
– Enable Night Vision.
– Increase the host’s resistance to poison, wood, and metal Qi deviation by 50%.
– Enable the host to cultivate Wood Qi.
– Increase visual range by 100 meters.
Lesser Prosthetic Eye of Fenrir
This prosthetic eye is a manmade parasite. By implanting it on a person’s face or replacing an eye, it will connect its nerves to the host’s brain and transmit the signal, sharing its vision with the host. The eye has the following traits.
– Enable Night Vision.
– Increase the host’s resistance to poison, wood, and metal Qi deviation by 60%.
– Enable the host to cultivate Wood Qi and Metal Qi.
– Increase visual range by 200 meters.𝒏𝗈𝑣𝖊𝓵𝐍𝐄xt.𝗰𝒐𝗆
After Leo read through the description, he widened his eyes in astonishment.
They were technically parasites!
“Yikes. I guess I and Cat can’t eat you.”
*SHIVER*
The bouncing eye on Leo’s palm and the floating ones heard his words and shivered in fear. The small balls were wet as if they were crying.
Feeling bad for these creatures, Leo lightly stroked it, “Don’t worry. I won’t eat you or harm you. As a matter of fact, I have a good host for y’all.
*BOUNCE*
The 30 eyeballs danced and jumped around. Although they couldn’t make a noise, their innocent sparkling green pupils looked happy and excited.
While Leo chatted with the eyeballs, the lazy chomper crawled down from the cabin’s rooftop. It looked at what Leo had made.
“Nom-Nom Meow?”
Leo rolled his eyes, “This ain’t food or a treat.”
“Meow…”
Cat was sad. It faced the floating eyeballs and salivated, scaring the small green eyes again.
Leo said nothing. He lightly attached the eyeball on his palm above Cat’s thick lips, leaning toward the right. Coincidentally, the eye was the lesser-graded one.
“Meow?” Cat was puzzled about what his master was doing to its face.
“Stay still, kitty. You don’t have eyes, right? How about adding a pair?”
“Meow??”
Cat was confused. Still, it let Leo put the strange delicious-looking eyeball on its head.
Leo adjusted its position. Then, he poked at Cat’s skin.
*WIGGLE*
Small tentacles came out from the back of the eyeball, penetrating into Cat’s face. A few seconds later, it became one with the plant.
“MEOW?!”
The chomper panicked. It tried to unplug the eyeball. But as it had no hands, it couldn’t do anything about it.
Several seconds later, Cat’s skin generated an eyelid. It blinked for the first time and stopped moving.
“Meow…?”
It tilted its head and rotated its eye around. That was the first time that Cat got to see the world.
Leo waved his hand in front of Cat’s eye. It blinked several times and gazed at Leo in curiosity.
“Meow, meow?”
“Yes. This is I, Florida Man!” Leo made a Jojo reference pose.
“Meow! Meow-Meow, Meow!”
“And yes, I gave you an eye so that you can see everything around you instead of randomly moving around with your sixth sense.”
“Meow? Meow-Meow?”
“Oh, you can feel the parasite? Don’t worry about it. It just wants to live, but it needs some of your energy. In exchange, it will boost your physicality, okay?”
“Nom-Nom Meow?”
“No. You can’t eat the other parasites. As a matter of fact, I don’t think you have enough eyes for your large head. I’m planning to put another one on you. Get ready.”
“Meow <3”
After getting confirmation from Cat, Leo carefully placed another lesser-graded eye on its face.
When Leo was done, Cat’s two eyes widened as the parasites and the host’s vision became one.
“Meow <3”
Cat was in a good mood as it could see the world in color instead of using its sixth sense. It bobbed its head up and down like a vibing cockatoo bird.
“You’re welcome, kitty.”
As it was so grateful to Leo, Cat hugged him and licked his face, applying the odor of the mutated monster’s gaga and goo-goo to his skin. Moreover, the rotting poisonous saliva intensified the bad breath.
Leo was expressionless when he got ambushed by the saliva and the foul odor. He inwardly cried.
“I should have worn the hazmat mask around you.”
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