Heart of Darkness

What did she mean by his heart was beating?

Rayven panicked but then he felt it. He felt his heart skip a beat. He even heard it. How could it be possible?

Moving her hand away he touched his chest. Beneath his palm, he could feel the drumming against his ribcage. “It is back.” He said.

How? Why?

“What is back?” Angelica asked him confused.

“My heart is back. It is back.” He repeated in disbelief.

Then he shook his head. It shouldn’t be back. Not now.

Angelica looked at him worriedly.

“I need to leave.” He said standing up.

He was completely naked as he stepped out of the tub and grabbed the towel on the stool nearby. He wrapped it around his waist and turned around to face Angelica.

Her face was completely red and her eyes displayed horror. Why? He looked down at his body. Was his body different from any other male’s body?

Her gaze slowly traveled along his body and up to his face. “Where…are you leaving?” She stuttered. Then as if realizing what she asked she stood up hastily. “Where?” She repeated walking around the tub to come to stand in front of him. “Is it because I touched you? Are you leaving to do something…”

He grabbed her face in his hands. “I am not leaving to hurt myself and you can touch me as much as you like. My body is yours.”

“Then where are you going?”

“Angelica, I don’t want to lie to you because what I say won’t make any sense to you right now. I will tell you everything but I need to leave right now. I will be back.” He told her.

She nodded slowly.

As soon as he left her room, he teleported to Lucrezia’s cave. Water was still dripping from his wet hair and he was half-naked. But the woman had already seen his body and even what was inside.

Rayven felt so strange. In the cave, it was as if his heartbeat echoed. His chest felt stuffed and the sound was frightening.

Suddenly he was teleported and found himself in a luxurious room.

Bedroom.

He looked around and found Lucrezia looking herself in the mirror and adjusting her hair. “It is a busy day for me.” She spoke still staring into the mirror. “But I knew you would come.”

“What is happening?” He asked her.

She turned around and made a twirl. “How do I look?”

The woman didn’t need a mirror but it didn’t make him hate her any less.

“Oh,” She made a sad expression. “A compliment wouldn’t hurt. I am meeting a human male.” She smiled. “I need to look a little bit more human.”

Rayven felt bed for whoever that man was.

Lucrezia sighed and shook her head at him. “You feel bad? I think he is lucky. How many men do you think have the chance to spend time with a woman like me? They even beg me to punish them.” She smirked.

Rayven scoffed. If the poor man didn’t faint before she even got started.

“Well, that could happen too.” She sighed.

“You gave me my heart back.” He said accusingly.

“You are welcome.” she shrugged.

“Why?!”

“Because I want to.”

Rayven clenched his hands into fists stopping himself from choking her. Not that he could.

He took a deep breath. “So is it done now? You think I redeemed myself?”

She placed her hands behind her back. “No. Not yet. Your heart is not bleeding completely and you still have to choose to live.”

“Then why?”

“It wouldn’t be a choice if you couldn’t choose to die. Now you have your heart. This will be the ultimate test. Will you choose to live when you know you can die?”

Rayven shook his head. “I don’t want it back.”

She tilted her head to one side. “All this time you wanted it back and now you don’t?”

“No. You don’t understand. Even if I choose to live, what if I still want to die? What if I wake up one day and just decide to do it? It is not something that will just go away.”

It had become a habit for him. Almost a compulsion.

“Then you know this is another obstacle you have to face. Besides how can you ever know you chose to live if I don’t give you the choice to die? I also don’t want you to miss having your heart while loving your wife. It would be a shame.”

Loving?

“She still doesn’t know what I am.” He could hear his heart beat louder and faster again. It was as if it was telling him what he was feeling rather than him just knowing. “How should I tell her?”

“I am sure you will find the right way.” She smiled.

“What if it doesn’t go well?”

“I really can’t help you with that one. I have never been in love, but they say if love is there, it is going to be alright.”

Love? Did his heart know how to love? Did his wife… love him? ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

He laughed cynically. She cared for him because of her good nature, maybe even desired him from what he had sensed, but love… he dared not say she loved him. He dared not even dream of it.

“Well, then I will be on my way and you should go back and get dressed.” She told him.

“What if I die?” He was asking himself more than her but he hoped to evoke some fear in her. Didn’t she want to keep him alive?

“Rayven, you have a wife now. So if you need to talk to someone refrain from coming to me from now on.” And then with a snap of her fingers, she sent him back to the cave.

Rayven stood there hearing his heartbeat accelerate. The fear returned, this time of what he might do and what might happen now that he had his heart back. He felt so vulnerable that even taking a step forward felt dangerous.

He teleported back home, to a different room in case Angelica was in his room then he walked back to his room.

As soon as he opened the door, he smelled her scent. She was sleeping in his bed. Hesitantly he walked in and closed the door. He got rid of the towel and wrapped one of the sheets around his waist before getting into bed.

He sat beside her where she lay and watched her sleep. His fingers reached for her hair and caressed her cheek. She stirred but continued to sleep. She was like an angel. An angel in a demon’s bed.

(Oh Angel, what are you doing in my bed?

What my heart might feel

What I might do, I dread

Your scent is so sweet

Your hair is so soft

Making my heart bleed

And my mind get lost

Your presence awakens my dead soul

Your smile shakes me to my core

Now sweet angel

Have you come to touch my soul?

Or have you come to mend my heart

That you already stole? )

Angelica opened her eyes as if waking up to the poem he wrote in his heart for her.

“My Lord?”

As much as he wanted to hear her say his name, he liked when she called him ‘My Lord’. It felt as if he belonged to her. It was different from when she called him ‘Lord Rayven’. He usually felt a detachment whenever she called him that.

She tried to sit up but he put a hand on her arm to keep her in place. “Rest.” He told her. He could tell she was tired.

Laying down as well, they looked at each other.

“But you haven’t eaten.” She said.

Right.

Food.

He had to pretend to be human for a while but he had no appetite. “I have eaten.” He said but then realized that she must have been waiting for him to eat. “You didn’t eat?” He asked.

“I am not hungry.” She said.

“You should still eat a little.” He insisted.

She shook her head. “I just want to rest.”

Something was bothering her.

“Is it alright if I sleep here?” She asked.

He nodded.

“Are you not cold?”

He didn’t know cold anymore, especially tonight if she was going to sleep in his bed. “No.”

It became quiet again as they looked at each other.

“What is bothering you?” He asked. “Don’t say nothing.”

“I am afraid.” She began.

His heart skipped a beat. Of him?

“I… I don’t want to be alone. Even if I don’t get taken care of, I missed taking care of someone… I realized today. I am afraid to lose the things I have taken care of. All the memories I have, are left in that house.”

Rayven’s heart did some strange movement in his chest again. He was pained at understanding why she was sad. It was more than a house and a home for her. The memories of her childhood and her parents were there.

“My mother…” Her voice changed as she continued. It became thicker. “She died when I was little. She loved to read books as well. She loved flowers and tea and… she was just lovely.”

She shook her head fighting back tears. “Oh, I don’t know why I am so emotional.” She smiled. “I must be tired.”

Her parents. Her father was not another reason why he was afraid of telling her what he was. He wanted to pull her close. He felt like he shouldn’t but he couldn’t see her like that. Pulling her closer he held her for a while. She buried her face in his chest and he tells she was crying.

“I am sorry.” He said. “It is my fault.”

She shook her head.

“I shouldn’t be close to you. I shouldn’t touch you. Not before telling you the truth. I need to tell you the truth about me..” He said.