266 Unbearable
She stumbled down the hallway, trying to catch herself on the accent table. Instead, the decorative vase fell toward the floor. If not for the swift movements of the man that now stood beside her, it would have shattered.
“Careful…” he whispered. “You wouldn’t want to break anything I might have to punish you for.”
Alice growled and pulled herself away from his reach.
“What’s the matter, Alice?” Roman smiled. “Didn’t we used to be friends?”
“I was never friends with you,” she replied with disgust.
“You wouldn’t remember even if you were,” he grinned.
The ache in her head was getting stronger, and the dizziness was almost too much. She needed to get away from him and to her room.
“What do you want, Roman?” Alice asked, crossing her arms.
He looked down at her and smirked.
“Fine, straight to business,” he said. “I’ve heard you’re good at getting answers people aren’t normally willing to give.”
“I’m good at many things,” Alice said with an irritated smile.
“I’m sure you are,” Roman said, taking a step closer to her. “I’m good at a lot of things too. So maybe we should see how good we are together.”
Alice uncrossed her arms carefully, pulling out two small knives from inside her sleeves. She held them up defensively.
“I’d rather not.”
Roman chuckled.
“I like a woman with some fire in her,” he said in a husky voice. He took yet another step toward her. “It makes her that much more exciting to conquer.”
“This fire will burn you to the ground,” Alice snarled, preparing to fight if necessary.
Roman laughed and put up his hands.
“Alright, you win,” he said. “Put your little toys away. Let’s talk business.”
“I’ll keep them out, thank you,” she said.
“Whatever makes you happy, pretty Alice.”
“What do you want, Roman?” Alice repeated with an irritated sigh.
“There is something I believe my father is keeping secret. Something that he has no right to hide from me,” Roman growled. “I want you to get it out of him.”
“Why should I help you?” Alice asked.
“Because if you help me, I will help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“Oh, yes, you do,” he grinned. “We both know you are here because Holden doesn’t trust either of us. So, you watch me and make sure I’m not playing those nasty little games I like to play, and I watch you and make sure you are right where he wants you to be.”
“So, you’re offering to give me my freedom?” Alice smiled, thinking of the last time she heard this offer.
Roman’s mouth tilted into a crooked grin.
“You could say that.”
Alice took a deep breath through her nose, fighting back the twitching pain above her eye.
“The last twirling mustache that made that offer tried to kill me. So how do I know you won’t do the same thing?” she asked.
“That’s the thing, baby girl, you know I will either way,” he growled. “But if you help me… when that day comes, I’ll make it quick.”
“No, you won’t.”
Roman grinned.
“It’s your choice,” he said, turning to leave. “Make the right one.”
***
Alice barely made it back to her room before the pain became unbearable. She locked the door, and though struggling to stay on her feet, she took the time to shove a chair under the handle before finally going to her bed.
She sat down and reached for the side table drawer, yanking it too roughly and spilling the contents on the floor.
“Damn it!” she growled.
Her vision was darkening, and her head pounded, a deep ache that throbbed against her skull. Each thump worsened the pain.
When she had returned to Holden, he had kept his word. He hadn’t tried to take her memories, but the only way he could safely return all of them was through another treatment. Alice had refused.
He warned her that this would be the result. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
When Granger had given her the final passphrase, he had torn down the walls of her mind and let loose a flood of memories. Only her strong will to survive and her connection to Axel kept her from dying or going mad.
Alice’s mind was holding back the flood, but she would suffer through a wave of mixed memories from time to time. Her body would react with migraines, shakes, and fever. It could last anywhere from a few short minutes to as long as several hours.
When it did pass, Alice was left to sort through the shattered memories and try to make sense of them. Some came through as a completed story, while others were only fragments.
Alice reached down for the bottle of painkillers. She managed to grab and open it without much difficulty. Then, swallowing down the pills, she laid back on the bed. There was a remote under her pillow that darkened the room for her.
Under the same pillow, beside the remote, was the only thing that would ease the panic that came with this fight inside her mind. With a shaky hand, Alice removed the small pouch from its secret location.
Pulling at the bunched material, she loosened it and reached in. Alice pulled out a little piece of fabric wrapped around a lock of dark blonde hair. She held to it tightly and brought it to her nose, inhaling the little bits of his scent that remained.
A shaky breath passed through her lips as the pain shot through her head and down her spine. Then, finally, she cried out and clenched her jaw.
Alice took a slow deep breath and focused on the memory she could control. She thought back to their last moments together…
Axel pulled away from their embrace. He touched her cheek gently and swallowed as he struggled to let her go.
Alice took a deep breath and moved to stand up from the bed.
“Wait,” Axel said, grabbing her wrist gently.
“Axel, I need to go,” she said. “So do you. Ashleigh is with Granger, and there is no telling what he plans to do with her.”
“I know,” Axel said. “You’re going to retake the suppressant, aren’t you?”
Alice pursed her lips sadly and nodded.
“I’ll have to.”
Axel touched his shoulder and swallowed.
“Then we won’t feel each other, even through these,” he said.
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then I need something else,” he said.
“What?”
Axel stood from the bed and moved over to the desk in the room. He opened the top drawer, there were only a few items, and luckily the thing he was looking for was one of them.
He returned to her and held up a pair of scissors.
“What are you….” Alice started to ask.
Axel reached out to her neck. His fingers grazed her skin as he reached up and lightly pulled on a lock of her hair.
“May I?” he asked.
“Ok…” she said.
Axel cut her hair, a brown curl about four inches long.
“How very old-fashioned of you,” Alice laughed. “What are you even going to do with that?”
He smiled and then tilted his head. He reached the back of his neck and began a small braid. He added the lock of her hair, blending it with his own.
“There,” he said once it was done. “Now, you will always be with me.”
Alice felt a swelling of emotion.
“I want one too,” she whispered.
Axel smiled and gave her a lock of his hair. Alice smiled as she held it in her hand, petting it gently with her fingertip.
“Unfortunately, your hair color will be very noticeable mixed into mine,” she sighed.
Axel looked around, seeing nothing that satisfied his need. Finally, he tore a small piece of his shirt.
“Wrap it in this,” he offered.
Alice took it, bringing it to her nose, and she smiled.
“It smells like you.”
Axel smiled and took the hair and fabric, wrapping them together. He stepped closer, their bodies almost pressed to each other.
“This is your connection to me, don’t lose it,” he whispered.
Never one to be outdone, Alice took the talisman of his love and moved her hand across her chest, slipping it under her shirt and into her bra, keeping her eyes on him through the process. She licked her lips as she whispered back to him.
“I’ll keep it next to my heart.”
Axel growled and captured her lips one last time….
The memory fell away as Alice tossed and turned. Her body was drenched in sweat. She cried out as the pain became too unbearable and the flood swept over her.