267 You’re Not Even Top Twenty
The door to his office opened and shut with little sound. He might not have noticed if he hadn’t been sitting in his chair already facing it.
“Silent as ever,” Tomas said, taking a sip from his glass. “I was wondering when you would be sent to me.”
Alice hadn’t planned to come here, hadn’t planned to see him. In fact, she wanted to avoid him altogether. Especially after Roman’s request, the last thing she wanted was to help that monster. And yet, here she was.
All because of a new memory that had risen to the surface of her murky waters.
“That happened a long time ago, didn’t it?” Alice replied, tilting her head to the side.
Tomas tightened his jaw.
“I think I was barely nineteen then,” she continued. “Old enough, right?”
Alice moved in front of his desk. She reached down and picked up a small clear crystal ball, rolling it between her hands.
“I remember it all now,” she whispered with an innocent smile.
“You came to me willingly,” he said.
“I was ‘sent to you’ with no mind of my own. And no memory of it later,” she replied without looking up.
“And I was supposed to know that?” he asked with a heavy bitterness. Taking another drink. “You were very convincing as a girl in love with me.”
“I was programmed to be a girl you would love.”
“And I didn’t know that!” He growled.
“Maybe not that time,” she said with a cold smile. “But what about the next time?”
Tomas growled and drank the rest of his glass down.
“I remember that time too, Tomas,” she said in a sweet voice. “It was so romantic. The way you called out to me by a name I didn’t recognize. How when I told you I didn’t remember you, you grabbed
me by the hair and threw me to the ground.”
Alice twirled as though she remembered a fond moment. She sighed dreamily.
“How I begged you with honest tears to let me go. I pleaded and cried and screamed as you ripped off my clothes. Do you remember, Tomas? Do you remember how romantic it was when you took me by force?”
“I didn’t know!” he screamed, throwing his glass against the wall.
Alice raised her arm to shield her face from the shards of glass that sprayed into the room, but she didn’t flinch, nor did she take her eyes away from him.
“I knew Laura! The girl who came to me with words of affection and made my heart ache for her. That was the girl I knew! I loved her! And then she was just gone, poof, like nothing. Two years later… you show up… you have her face, hair, voice… but you don’t know me? I was angry. I thought you made a fool of me… I didn’t know what you were.”
“You might not have known the truth. But you thought I was someone who loved you, who you ‘loved’ when you raped me that day.”
Tomas took a deep breath and got up from his chair. He went to his bar, poured himself another drink, and then poured her one too. He returned, setting the drink down before her and sitting in his chair. He took a sip.
“From the first day I met her, I always told Laura I wasn’t worth her love,” he replied in a defeated tone.
“You were right,” Alice said.
Tomas raised his glass to her and took another drink.
“Hate me all you want, kill me… Goddess knows I’ve earned my death.”
Alice took a deep breath and then brought the glass to her lips; she took a sip. It burned down her throat, but it felt good.
When Alice had woken from her latest episode, she had seen the memory of herself screaming out for help. Watched as Tomas tore at her clothes with tears in his eyes. He had done what he wanted with her body. Then, he cried and ran from the room when it was over.
She had gathered the bits of her clothes and done her best to cover herself.
When she reached the small room she had arranged to stay in for the night, Holden waited for her. First, his eyes looked her over, and then he stared at her coldly.
“This is what men are really like,” he said. “They take what they think they are owed; they break the things they cherish and feel no remorse.”
Alice didn’t remember what had happened between her and Tomas until today. Still, Tomas did remember, and Holden used her to manipulate him through his guilt for years after.
“Laura wasn’t supposed to be a woman you loved,” Alice said quietly, taking another sip of the fiery liquid.
Tomas looked up at her, unsure if he should listen or if she was setting him up for another fall.
Alice swallowed down the fire.
“She was supposed to be someone you trusted,” Alice said. “At the time, Holden had heard you lost a family member. A daughter, the year before. That’s the role in your heart she was supposed to take over.”
Tomas furrowed his brow and looked away. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
“But that wasn’t what you wanted from her,” Alice continued. “As Laura, I adjusted to your needs to gain your trust. So, Laura became your lover.”
Tomas took a deep breath and another sip of his drink. Alice did the same.
“When Holden figured out that the relationship between you and Laura was not as he intended, he pulled her out… he locked me away in a hole, awake. It was the longest I was awake since I was eight years old.”
She swirled the drink in her hand, watching the dark liquid move in the glass.
“After two years awake in a hole. He had me wear my hair just like she did. A dress from her closest. He sent me in as me, only missing the memory of Laura. He said it was important that I know what men were really like… and then he reset me and started all over again as if nothing happened.”
Alice finished her drink, setting the glass down on the desk.
“I’m not going to kill you, Tomas, on the list of people I want dead… you’re not even top twenty.”
Tomas looked at her with consideration and interest.
“Are you going to do what Roman wants?” Tomas asked.
“You know what he asked me to do?” she smiled.
“He’s a psychopath, not an idiot. You have raw talent for getting information, one way or another. It was only a matter of time before he came to you.”
“I’m actually surprised to see that you look so healthy. I figured he would have tortured you for whatever it is he’s trying to get out of you.”
Tomas smiled.
“Pain is something I have become used to in my life. Torture wouldn’t loosen my lips, and I’m not his type. He gets no pleasure from my pain.”
“Your kid is sick,” Alice sighed, looking at different items on his desk.
Tomas nodded.
“So… are you going to get him what he wants?” Tomas asked again.
Alice took a breath and stood up straight.
“Depends. What does he want?” she asked. Crossing her arms over her chest.
“The daughter I lost,” Tomas smiled sadly. “His mate.”
Alice swallowed.
“Who is she?” she asked.
“I can’t tell you that, not before I know you won’t tell him.”
Alice stared at Tomas. Trying to decide whether or not to trust him. Did he really want to protect some girl from his son? Tomas may not have been a psycho like Roman, but he wasn’t strictly a shining star of morality.
“I have no interest in helping him find another victim,” she sighed.
“Then, will you help me protect her?” Tomas asked.
“Help you protect her?” Alice laughed. “How are you supposed to protect her? You are trapped here. Roman won’t let you go, ever.”
“I don’t need to go anywhere to protect her. I just need your help.”
“With what?”
Tomas opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a small pouch. He looked up at her and sighed.
“She was a child when he got to her,” Tomas said. “He kept her from me. I didn’t know until he had already used her as his toy for months. Then, finally, she could get away, but not before he hurt her badly. I convinced him she died back then. But now he believes she’s still alive.”
Tomas paused and licked his lips.
“I am the only person he has access to that knows who she is and where she is,” he said. “If I don’t know anymore… it keeps her safe, a little longer.”
“I don’t understand how I am supposed to make you…. Forget.”
Alice swallowed as Tomas opened the pouch, and she saw something she recognized right away, a single petal of Bitter Night.
“You know this plant better than most,” Tomas said. “I need you to give me enough to forget the girl, but nothing else.”
Alice licked her lips.
“What makes you think I won’t just leave you a vegetable?”
“Because,” Tomas said, “if I’m a vegetable, I can’t help you betray Holden and set yourself free.”