108 It's time to leave
Taking a cold bath herself too, Ai finally felt as if she broke the chain of thoughts that bewildered her. The sensations that Jun invoked within her felt fleeting at this moment.
She took two deep breaths and regained her composure. Her expression bounced back to her usual self. She paced around her room and dried her hair with a towel.
Her phone flashed with an incoming call. “Hello.”
She silently heard the other person speak. “I see…I understand. Thank you.”
The call ended. She clasped her hands together, seemingly coming to a decision.
—
They skipped the day to go to the library and stayed back at home. Yet the air felt as if the condo was empty. Not a sound came from their rooms.
They finally showed themselves during dinner. When Ai dragged her feet towards the dining table, her expression cracked seeing so many dishes lined upon it. Each one of them looked exquisite as if cooked in a five-star hotel, and a delicious aroma seeped into the air.
“…Are there guests coming tonight?”
Out of all the things, it was food that broke the silence between them.
Jun stiffened. His movements halted. Without looking back, he answered after a long time, “No.”
“Then it’s just the two of us?”
“Hm.”
“Then why did you cook so many dishes?”
Jun gritted his teeth. Staying cooped up inside his room all day made him go crazy. Part of the reason was last night, and…
Part of the reason was that he had pleasured himself while taking shower thinking about Ai. He controlled and controlled but in the end, he gave in.
It was a great feat that he was able to calm himself last night. But when that desire struck him again, he couldn’t hold back any longer.
He went into such a deep shock by his actions that the only way he could think of not turning anymore insane was cooking up a bunch of dishes and distracting himself.
Jun brought two more plates filled with food and kept them beside the other dishes.
Ai asked the inevitable question, “How are we supposed to finish everything?”
“I don’t know.”
“…”
He sat in his usual chair and began gobbling the food like a glutton.
Ai quietly took her usual seat too and served food for herself.
The silence struck again.
A lot of unsaid emotions swirled in their minds like a whirlwind, especially regarding last night.
Jun felt the responsibility to talk about it since he initiated it.
But how was he supposed to explain himself? Why did he touch her that way? Why did he kiss her like that? Why did he urge her to sleep with him?
It was after a while when Ai put her chopsticks down and faced Jun. “I have something to say.”
Jun froze. He pressed the tip of his chopsticks on the plate with such force that it could snap at any moment. A gush of adrenaline pumped in his blood, feeling something impending coming.
Ai assumed his silence as a yes.
“I got a call from the repair shop. The workers have finished doing my apartment’s repairs. So…I am ready to move back to my home.”
His head jerked to face her, wide-eyed. “Huh? What repairs?”
She blinked. “I blew my apartment on Christmas, remember? The firemen estimated it could take upto one month for repairs, and it’s done now.”
He finally remembered and looked at her with a piercing gaze.
“You are moving out?” There was a hint of alarm in his tone.
Ai stared at him and wondered if she would see that side of his once again – When his pure presence threatened that nobody was allowed to take Ai away from his house.
Jun felt as if the top of his lid would burst now.
Why move out when everything is going fine!
He almost banged his hand on the table when it dawned upon him.
Everything wasn’t going fine actually.
Last night was anything but fine between them.
The realization was like somebody had poured cold water over him. Last night gave them all the more reason to maintain their distance holding onto their own beliefs.
The repairs were ideally completed at a perfect time just when they needed to be away from each other.
But neither Jun liked it, nor did it sit well with Ai.
Ai pursed her lips. “I will move out tomorrow.”
She glanced at him again, studying his reaction. But there was nothing that gave his real expression away.
He shut his eyes, breathed in and opened them as he stared straight at her. “I see. Okay.”
Ai watched him unblinkingly for a few seconds. She lowered her gaze and slowly nodded her head. She felt something prickly tug at her chest.
Where was his fearsome self which he always exhibited at the mention of her leaving his house?
It was the last meal and last night in Jun’s condo. But she suddenly didn’t feel like eating anymore.
Jun lost his appetite too.
She wants to leave…
His dark, cold eyes bore into Ai, who was eating at a lethargic pace.
Is it really because of the repairs or…last night?
O-or does she want to leave because she finds Jin better than me?
He shivered with an impulse of not letting her go anywhere. He struggled countless times thinking if the dance with Jin changed something within her?
Does she also prefer Jin now? Ah, it’s just an excuse, right?
But why do I care? It’s only better that she leaves! Then…
Then I won’t have these stupid feelings anymore. Then I won’t keep thinking about Ai.
His shoulders stiffened with tension, and he angrily sprung up on his feet. His own conviction consoled him but also sent his heart into a frenzy. Gritting his teeth hard, he rushed inside his room and banged the door shut, agitated.
Ai jolted. She stared at the empty chair in silence.
She failed to understand his source of irritation. A similar train of thoughts ran in her mind too.
Was he beginning to get attracted to Shui again?
She wasn’t particularly accusing him because she understood it herself very well how painful it was to move on from one’s past love.
She shook her head. Jun had clarified that he would announce his breakup soon. There was no reason to doubt that.
But then…
Did he regret touching her like that?
A faint smile greeted her lips.
It’s better this way. I will move out, and then I won’t have to worry about these emotions anymore. I will just focus on my career, she calmly and rationally concluded like she always used to.
This uneasiness will fade away by itself one day, and then…
I will forget all about Jun.