The Record of Unusual Creatures

Someday, Hao Ren would understand the meaning of exceptional prescience, the meaning of the goddess’ wisdom, and the meaning of being a potty mouth on Raven 12345’s level. When Raven 12345 mentioned that she had just come up with the analysis just to look cool, her guesses were actually not far off, and quite clearly her brain damage did not impede her superior intellect.

But now, Hao Ren only felt that his superior was screwed in the head, and doubted if she could actually do her work properly.

“Alright, lets have some fruits. We’ve been talking for quite a while now.” Raven12345 continued with her disorientating serene smile, as she pushed a bunch of unknown fruits before Hao Ren. “Don’t be coy with me, we don’t have much protocol to start with. This was prepared for the spot check, and that person left after having a few sunflower seeds.”

Hao Ren still admired Raven 12345’s demeanor as an approachable big sister, and he, of course, would appreciate if she could remove that bronze mask of a ‘boss-appeasing special expression pack’ smile that she had put on. He randomly took a fruit that looked like a nectarine. “Only a few sunflower seeds? That’s a little…”

“Not joking.” Raven 12345 waved off. “The one doing the spot check is a high-level Corvideo, you remember them right? You’ve seen one before, just that teeny weeny…”

As the Goddess spoke, she drew a palm-sized figure. “Even elongated they are only that tall. So much for me preparing this much fruits. That chibi was full by the third seed, and I felt that it was not right for her to eat so little, reflects badly on my service as a host so I stuffed the fourth into her mouth with a chopstick…”

Cold sweat rained over Hao Ren’s forehead. That Goddess sure has a skewed view of ‘service’!

Raven 12345 was by then stroking her chin feeling good about herself. “With that, my appraisal should be tip top…”

Hao Ren’s cold sweat had already reached his feet. A good appraisal!? It’s a wonder you did not choke her with your chopsticks!

Then again, those tiny Corvideo did leave a mark in Hao Ren’s mind. He heard that these Goddesses were the Goddess of Messages, Journeys, and Supervision. They wander all across the macro-world and now he has a better understanding of their job. It was almost like a pesky discipl… Uh no, a headteacher in charge of education quality…

Seems like Raven 12345’s year-end appraisal will forever stay the same.

Hao Ren ate the weird fruits and it was clear that they were not mortal produce. All of them were probably from the divine realm, similar to the Golden Apple, but their taste was one of a kind, like this nectarine he was holding now, it may look like one, it actually tasted more like black pepper steak…

“I thought I was hallucinating at the first bite.” Hao Ren stared at the fruit in his hand. “You sure they aren’t already spoilt?”

“Preposterous, all of them are fresh.” Raven 12345 smiled (that was the only expression she was capable of) “All of them are harvested from the divine realm, The goddess of life personally researched the cultivation of the fruit. We have a boss who is an absolute glutton so the food source there is limitless. Come, try this. I actually wanted to let you try this.”

Hao Ren took the fruit that the goddess had handed to him with a little skepticism. It looked like a grape, feel like a grape, smells like a grape, but after experiencing a black pepper steak-flavored nectarine earlier, he was really doubtful of the taste of any divine fruit matching its looks. “Tell me what it is before I decide whether if I’ll eat it…”

“The Emperor’s Sigh,” the goddess suddenly threw a bombshell.

Hao Ren suddenly felt that he had to eat it. “The heck?”

“The Emperor’s Sigh. Because this thing had our big boss at a loss of words. And that was during an imperial banquet with the three divine systems. So you know the power of this fruit. So, you giving it a go or not?”

This time around Hao Ren did not wait for Raven 12345 to finish before popping the ‘grape’ into his mouth as he chewed he mumbled. “I’ll eat I’ll eat. I’ll be a fool not to. Based on your description, the power increase will be f*cking pheno… Pfftttt!”

Before Hao Ren could finish his sentence, a mind-wrecking sensation burst in his mouth and ran all across his nerves. He spat the thing out on the spot as the indescribable taste permeated across his tongue and towards his spinal cord. He felt that he had broken through human sensory ability, and had broken through carbon-based life form nervous structure, and broke through the world’s material barrier and used his tongue to taste an otherworldly sensation. This was not an exaggeration. What the f*ck was that taste? Sweet, sour, bitter, sweet? You cannot even begin to describe it using normal taste categories, as every taste bud on his tongue tingled as if being shocked, and the sensation ran straight into his brain before shooting all across his body. That lasted for a good ten minutes, Ten minutes!

Hao Ren only recovered after ten minutes after eating one ‘grape’. He was still in a daze with the indescribable taste still dancing on his tongue. But what was surprising is that after the shock his mind was still clear, and he immediately exclaimed with his tongue out. “What the bloody f*ck was that shit?!”

Raven 12345 threw a little light orb at Hao Ren, smacking him on the forehead. “Hush, did you forget about the work etiquette? Mind your language when you are at work, no screaming and shouting while you are at work. Wait until your superior is done screaming before you start.”

Hao Ren twirled his tongue at the sensation. “Ugh… what was that?”

“Why, The Emperor’s Sigh of course.” Raven 12345 leaned back. “Quite the thing isn’t it?”

“And this thing is called the Emperor’s Sigh?” Hao Ren felt that he was being made a fool by the goddess.

“Yep, big boss was aghast when he first tasted it.” Raven 12345’s tone was serious. “Just like how you had reacted… Uh no, he did not say ‘bloody f*ck’, he went ‘f*cking hell’. After big boss was done the thing was named by the god of time as the Emperor’s Sigh.”

Hao Ren almost leaped up. “…And the Emperor’s Sigh actually came from that?!”

“What did you think?” Raven 12345 eyed Hao Ren. “Our great Xi Ling naming culture emphasizes simplicity.”

Hao Ren’s head was still reeling from the assault of a grape, and what he had wanted to ask earlier had totally eluded him now. He shook his head as he got back to his chair, pointing to the remaining Emperor’s Sigh. “Say, there better not be any side effects right?”

“No worries. Our divine food is certified safe for consumption. Each and everyone is specially infused with ‘anti-power overwhelming’ trait. You’ll be fine after eating it, even the bunch at your place will be fine after eating it.”

Hao Ren rolled his eyes before pulling out a plastic bag from his Dimensional Pocket. An evil grin appeared on his face as he put the ‘grapes’ into the bag. “Then I’ll take this back home for them to try…”

Raven 12345 was shocked by the look on Hao Ren’s face. “You’re already freeloading here, and you still have the cheek to pack food?”

“Have pity on those at my place. They are either elderly, or had a career crisis, or being born at the wrong place and the wrong time without a goal, or being homeless, or hell, even a youngling whose is the sole survivor of her kind. While I’m enjoying food the heavens, they…”

“Scram after you’re done packing.” Raven 12345 pointed towards a gate (while still bearing the serene smile), “I wasn’t that shameless like you when I got my head screwed.”

Hao Ren heard his marching orders and scampered off after taking the plate…

After Hao Ren left, the patio returned to its peaceful quiet. Raven12345 sat on her chair and sipped her tea casually before turning her head slightly. “Aren’t you tired standing there for so long? Your invisibility technique was taught by me too.”

Not too far away, the air shuddered and the dimension rippled like water before a figure with a face similar to Raven 12345, but with a much-reserved poise appeared. “Say, why did you had me purposely get that from the City of Shadows. I thought your taste had suddenly changed. You sure treat him well.”

“Well, he’s an excellent employee, so he gets special treatment.” Raven 12345 smiled. “Say, 23333, can you stop putting on a poker face every day, can’t you be a little more approachable like me?”

“Being approachable and being naïve is not a concept.” Raven 23333 corrected Raven 12345 with a serious tone, and before the latter could react, she changed the topic. “You think the stuff that he had eaten will be helpful?”

“Of course.” Raven 12345 nodded. “I’ve read his reports and have analyzed the samples. That thingamajig at the Plane of Dreams has a definite trait, and that is ‘soul corruption’. That’s why I’m piling soul resistance on him. The Emperor’s Sigh was personally blessed by the Soul Snatcher, a Greater Goddess level of blessing. I don’t believe such a permanent spiritual blessing of such a level could be broken by those ragtag rebels.”

“Blessed by the Greater Goddess herself huh,” Raven 23333 looked at the grape on the table, that was left behind Hao Ren by accident when he took the plate away. “It is good stuff, and I’ve heard that the taste was actually normal when it was first cultivated, but why did the taste change so much after Lady Sandra had blessed them?”

“Probably some high-level divine miracle. That’s beyond us, and let’s not bother too much.” Raven 12345 said.

“Well, whatever.” Raven 23333 frowned slightly. “But I don’t think it’s nice for you to simply name things. What ‘Emperor’s Sigh’, that’s not the official name.”

“I tell you, even I could not stand the official name. Who would actually say ‘The Emperor’s F*ck’… I may be a lunatic, but I have allergy to awkwardness. These two sicknesses can co-exist.”

“That’s true.”

“Right? Lunacy and allergy to awkwardness can co-exist.”

“…”

Raven 23333 felt that she really could not communicate with that screwed-in-the-head senior of hers.