The Record of Unusual Creatures

Hao Ren did not know that two goddesses were going about making his job arrangements. His mouth was still numb (the side effect of the Emperor’s Sigh) when he got home. The moment he pushed the door open, he saw Rollie squatting on the table in the living room.

The cat girl was staring intently at the floor not too far away from the table. A light beam was skittering here and there, and the dumb cat’s iris had gotten straight staring at the light as her head bobbed along. The light was from Lily’s laser pen, and the dumb husky was grinning from side to side, seemingly forgotten her fear of cats when she initially came in. Probably a cat walking on two feet is no longer a cat to her, so the pair of canine and feline were happily having fun.

The aftermath of a cat sighting a laser pen is pretty much a foregone conclusion. Rollie did not last five seconds on the table before darting after the light. Lily then started pointing the laser beam all over the place, and the dumb cat chased after it with gusto. Hao Ren had stood by the door seeking the two having fun – The two were pretty girls after all- But it did not take long for it to turn into utter chaos as he saw the dumb cat kicked the wastepaper basket by the sofa aside, and next was the table fan, followed by many other things, and the living room instantly became a warzone!

The overly excited husky and the crazy cat was a perfect mixture of an apocalyptic level disaster. Just looking at Lily’s laser pen pointing about, you could see at least 16 afterimages of the dumb cat’s darting about. The entire living room looked like it was hit by a typhoon, and the laughter of the two rang loudly amidst the chaos. “Ahahaha! Up there, up there!”

“Nyaaa! Why doesn’t it stop!”

“Awooo… Ooff”

“Meow! Meow!”

“Awooooo…”

“Meoooo… Ah! Big Boss Cat!”

The living room was a total mess before an uneasy silence befell it as the dumb cat smacked her head against Hao Ren who was by the doorway, and Lily too realized that the landlord was home now.

Hao Ren could now understand the feelings of pet owners who have devils wreaking havoc at home. But he was even more depressed because he was not just rearing any cat or dog; the two were now higher lifeforms, and the destruction these two idiots are capable off is hundred times worse! The three-second carnage was enough to set someone back a whole day to clean up, and the thought of stopping them never crossed his mind.

A flash later, and Lily darted from a corner of the living room, and both the husky and the cat girl stood before Hao Ren. The two, despite being the dumb duo at home, knew that they had screwed up big time and they both lowered their heads waiting for Hao Ren to scold them.

Angry veins popped over Hao Ren’s forehead as he glared at them, but just as he was about to open his mouth, he pulled two ‘grapes’ out of the Dimensional Pocket. “Come, I have something nice for you two…”

Lily was not that stupid at least, she did not trust what Hao Ren had given them was normal, not after she had wrecked the living room, and she hesitated. The dumb cat beside her was much more naïve. She already had the habit of getting Hao Ren to feed her, and immediately took the grape and stuffed it into her mouth. “Dank you Beeg Buss Kat! Nyam, gonna eeeat it now!”

As Lily was distracted by the cat girl’s reaction, Hao Ren swiftly slammed the remaining grapes into her mouth.

An evil grin appeared on his face as he waited for their reaction…

Thirty minutes later, Vivian who was out for a walk came back. The vampire lady saw both Rollie and Lily tidying up the living room as she stepped into the house while Hao Ren was lying down on the sofa watching the telly. Surprised at what she saw, she asked. “Oh, Hao Ren you’re back? Why is this two so well-behaved today?”

Before Hao Ren could react, Lily threw the broom to one side and ran towards Vivian in a daze before sneakily extending her hand. “Open your mouth, Battie, I got something nice for you to eat…”

Something would have been utterly wrong if Vivian was to believe Lily. Their relationship aside, would you see a dog give its food to somebody else? But regardless if she believed Lily or not, Rollie had come over as well. The cat girl too extended her arm sneakily. “Vivian, I got something nice for you! Big Boss Cat brought it back today!”

And so, Vivian fell for it…

A moment later, Y’zaks and Y’lisabet who were out collected old electrical appliances came home. The moment the two stepped in they heard an unbelievably warm voice. “Big guy, Y’lisabet! There’s something nice for you two!”

…

That proved that learning to be bad did not take much time at all, humans or not. This bunch in Hao Ren’s household had been together for so long, and each was worse than the other!

Every time someone came home, they got fed the good stuff, and even Nangong Wudi and Ayesha who was running their restaurant did not escape their fate. Nangong Sanba had packed the fruits for his parents and when he came back he had a bump the size of a fist on his head…

Even Lil Pea was tricked into taking a bite of the ‘divine fruit’ by Lily, and the little mermaid immediately burst into tears…

Hao Ren was satisfied seeing that everyone had to undergo what he went through, and he suddenly felt at peace. He then placed a few other fruits on the plate that he had taken back with him on the tea table before sinking onto the sofa with a toothpick in his mouth, speaking as he watched the telly. “Just treat it like a taste test. You won’t find anything like this elsewhere, treat it like a new experience!”

This was not bullsh*t however, as Hao Ren was sure that everyone in his place had the same idea… Of course, it was limited to them trolling someone else.

Nangong Wuyue was by the side of the tea table as a basin. As she ran pure water out for Lil Pea to wash her mouth she said. “It was not all that bad you know, the taste wasn’t all that…”

Vivian immediately glared at her. “Nonsense, a Siren’s taste bud is literally just for show, you elemental creatures!”

“There’s still some left, why aren’t you guys eating them?” Hao Ren pointed towards the fruit platter as he looked at everyone. Just as he finished speaking, Rollie scampered to the back of the sofa in fear…

“Look at her.” Hao Ren pursed his lips. “Relax, the other stuff is normal. While the taste may not match the looks, it doesn’t taste all that bad. Lily try that one, this banana-like thing tastes like sweet and sour pork.”

Hao Ren did not bring all the fruits back just to prank everyone. Alright, alright, it’s part of the reason, but more so that he was sure that these things were potent stuff. He had witnessed the power of the Golden Apple and these fruits which also came from heaven, plus being specifically cultivated should not be half-bad, perhaps even more effective as Raven 12345 had specially prepared this for their upcoming task. Many things had happened since, and Hao Ren felt that he was running from one storm into another, and these bunch had always been happy to accompany him on his adventures, thus the risk of running into danger is always there. While there were no specific reasons, Hao Ren felt that he needed to find ways to bolster his comrades’ combat strength…

So chowing down on some divine food should do the trick?

And that “Emperor’s Sigh”… Hao Ren, if possible, did not even want to think of that bizarre name, but he had indeed brought these back on purpose. It was not wrong to say that he could leave the others behind, but the Emperor Sigh had to come with him.

The reason was simple, while the shock to one’s sensory system was mind-numbing, he felt a surge of change internally after eating it. He even felt that the change even reached spiritual levels, and had gone up a level higher!

So he knew that was good stuff.

He even wondered if Raven 12345 had gone through the trouble of preparing this godforsaken thingmajig just for him.

After Lily personally attested that the other fruits on the platter were normal (as normal as you can get), the ‘heavenly treasure’ that Hao Ren brought back was immediately split. If you were to follow those fantasy novels the whole group would have purple light on their heads by now as everyone would be finding spots to level up their skills. But Hao Ren’s bunch was not interested in that, and in reality, they were complaining that the fruits were not enough to fill their bellies, and a bunch of sweet and sour pork, black pepper steak flavored fruits had instead brought out their appetite. So the entire household went over to the Nangong’s restaurant for a meal and they even came back with three big bottles of Coca Cola…

“I think this might be some sort of treasure too,” Hao Ren, after having his fill started busying himself on other things. He saw the plate that was left on the tea table and remembered that he had taken this from Raven 12345’s place. His eyes shone immediately, “Hey, I know I have foresight, look at this design, it does look like something valuab…”

Vivian was wiping the table then, and as she heard that she lifted the plastic-like plate to have a look before frisbee-ing it to Hao Ren. “Heh, have a look yourself.”

As Hao Ren grabbed the place, the smile on his face froze. “Erliqiao Fifth Plastic Factory…”

“Well, it’s still a divine item.” Hao Ren pursed his lips, trying to fight back. “Regardless, it was still used by the goddess before. Rollie, come here, you can have this…”

The cat girl threw Hao Ren a suspicious glance before hugging her cat bowl tightly. “Nyeooow!”

He was speechless.