Chapter 75 - Please Be Happy
Chapter 75 – Please Be Happy
"Hugo, why are you in Everfell that night?"
Hugo paused in scrubbing her bareback and looked at her. Rinnie had her arms draped over the tub's rim, cheek on her arm while letting him clean her like a servant. Meanwhile, he was squatting outside the tub, top off since he took it off because of her vomit. He managed to put her in the tub without seeing her body as he kept her lips busy and he only trusted his instinct.
"Why… because my instincts told me I had to be there," he answered vaguely, and she didn't react strongly. "When I heard that the Hendrik Empire is eyeing Everfell, I rushed in there. But when we arrived, Everfell… is already on fire."
The soothing sound of water resumed in caressing their ears as Hugo cleaned her gently. "I'm sorry, Rinnie."
"What for?" came out a soft voice as she blinked her eyes, still sleepy but fighting it because he wasn't done cleaning her yet.
"I was late." The side of her lips curled up subtly at his answer. "If I came earlier, I could've saved your parents. If I did, you can have your answers."
Her eyes softened as her heart felt at peace. Although she always thought she was at peace, there was a part of her that wasn't — no matter how she tricked herself. He shouldn't be apologizing, since he wasn't the cause of the uprising in Everfell. But somehow, hearing someone apologize for it even when they had nothing to do with it sounded nice.
"I know you always say it's fine. That you're not the person who dwells in the past and on things you have no control over. Personally, I am relieved that you think that way. But… I can't help but worry." His eyes lowered as a shallow breath escape his nostrils. "Are you really fine? Am I making you happy enough for you to not think about those things? Can I really help you start over? Were the things I can give you enough? Am I… enough? Those things… I always think about those."
"Because what I can give is not the things you might want. What I can say is not the truths and answers you are looking for," he continued in a low and gentle tone, chorusing with the soft sound of water. "I may be overthinking things, but I am also that kind of person."
Rinnie's subtle smile remained as her eyes softened. "Thank you," she whispered. If only he knew he was more than enough or if he had the slightest idea that she often wondered how tough life could be if they didn't meet in that woods… he wouldn't think like this.
Of course, Rinnie would always question what those vampires wanted with her, whether or not Ashton spoke the truth, and why her parents protected her the way they did. Those questions would always be there, rotting deep within her. But… she was living through and could bear with it because of him.
"I'm happy," she added in the same tone. "I'm really, really… happy." — because despite the bad things, a lot of good things were still happening to her. For instance, meeting Hugo and the pack. Having to experience a sisterly bond, shopping with them, sharing funny stories while in the hot spring, drinking until she lost all reasons, and just live.
Hugo smiled gently as he watched her close her eyes weakly. "Then, I'm glad you are."
*****
Rinnie couldn't make it until the end of her bathing session, as she finally fell asleep while bathing. Hugo wrapped her up with a huge towel and carried her back to his room. Since he couldn't kiss her while dressing her up, Hugo didn't have the confidence that he could dress her himself. So, he resorted to wrapping her with multiple quilts like a cocoon.
After he was certain she was soundlessly sleeping on his bed and didn't show discomfort with the 'custom' nightdress he created, he went to wash up as well to cool his body down. The level of self-control he practiced tonight was something worthy of being recorded in the history of the empire.
When he was done showering, he returned to his room. Clad in a robe and a small tower over his head, he paused and gazed on the bed. She didn't move an inch since he left her.
"Hah… what a sad story," he mumbled, planting his palm over the small towel on his head to dry his hair while marching towards the bed. Hugo perched on the edge of the mattress, eyes on her.
"I always known I like you, but… to think it's this deep…" he trailed off as he sighed, extending his arms to brush a few strands of stray hair away from her face. "… I am at a loss."
He told her that she would have to say goodbye to sleep tonight. He still naturally wanted to bed her, to kiss her passionately until her lips would go numb, to embrace her securely in his arms, and make her his.
There were just so many perverse things that were still filling his head, even at this moment. However, because it was Rinnie, because he didn't want her to hate him or hurt her, he was holding himself back. Surely, this side of him was something he was also unaware of. That was self-control.
Hugo carefully lied beside her, lying on his side and eyes still on her. "Are you still breathing?" he asked, raising his hand to her upper lips to check if she was. A sigh of relief slipped past his lips when he confirmed she was still breathing.
"To think I am the one who will bid sleep farewell…" he retrieved his hand and chuckled helplessly. "… deserves a standing ovation."
Rinnie mumbled in her sleep, but he didn't try to figure out what she was saying. Instead, he just watched her all night with a subtle smile plastered on his face.
"I really like you, Rinnie," he confessed under his breath as he leaned forward, planting a kiss on top of her head. "Please be happy."
Because that was what he wanted, to see her happy, smiling candidly like today. He wouldn't let anyone take that smile away from her, nor he would allow to let that fear and desperation her eyes bore that night in Everfell return.
That was… his promise.. Little did he know, that promise would also be his curse because if her happiness didn't include him, it would be the end for him.